Soon
by katkin
Summary: It always seemed so bitterly ironic, to the man who had lost so much, that he could always manage to lose that little bit more. Sequel to YMW3 COMPLETE
1. Prologue

A/N: Well, roll on story two! This is a sequel to You Me and a Werewolf Makes 3, but can be read as a stand alone, because I've written a summary underneath. Saying that, please feel free to read YMW3 (all 46 chapters) and review of course ;) This is the second story in the trilogy. It is more of an interlude though. Most of the happenings take place in Grimmauld Place and focus on my favourite character, Mr R J Lupin.

Hmm, lets see…things that I haven't mentioned in the summary that you might need to know: This is set in Harry's 7th Year. Tonks has been DADA professor for the past year. Hermione's parents have died and she's living at GP. Tonks was in a relationship with Charlie Weasley until he broke up with her for kissing Remus. Remus and Tonks are best friends and are not in a relationship. The only time they have been…intimate, was when she conceived…Um that's it I hope.

If something doesn't make sense, please say so in a review :) Cheers

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. You all know that anyway.

PS: This story is dedicated to **Hope** as, if it wasn't for her, you guys would probably not be reading it for a few months, lol.

* * *

The story so far: 

Nymphadora Tonks, seven months pregnant with Remus Lupin's child, has left for Canada to be with her parents and Muggle family. This decision came after Voldemort requested her to join them, having found out that she killed her aunt (and former Death Eater) Bellatrix Lestrange. Peter Pettigrew was placed in charge of 'recruiting' Tonks. He however was killed by Lupin, who feared for the safety of his friend and unborn child. Once in the safety of Grimmauld Place, Lupin suggests that Tonks leaves over the summer, until the trouble with the Death Eaters calms down. This is where our story continues… with a werewolf who is, once again, alone.

"_Some things you don't see until they leave you… they're the things that you miss. Baby when all your love has gone, who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world?"_ – Bright Lights: Matchbox 20.

Prologue

She had left him … left him with the war threatening to erupt in the world around them. She had left him in a time when he had needed her the most, when he had sunk to a level that he swore he would never reach … he had murdered his final friend.

He had needed her, as she had needed him when her life had spiralled downwards. After her confrontation with her Aunt Bellatrix, eight months ago now, she became a broken shell of the vibrant woman she once was. To take the life of someone you once loved…it was hard. He knew this; he had done it himself. But he had been there for her, and had helped her rebuild the world that had shattered around her. Yet where was she when his world had fallen? She had left him.

He reminded himself daily, as he poured himself another drink with his shaking hands, that it had been his idea. He had made her leave in search of her family. He had wanted her to be safe, of course he had, and yet a part of him felt slightly selfish and wished that she hadn't gone … a small part of him anyway.

He dreamt of her, almost every night. Those nights that weren't of her were often of Sirius. Good and bad, it varied. Then, on the rare occasion he would dream of them together. They would laugh in the kitchen, talking of her childhood and their happier memories of happier times; not like now.

Had he hoped for too much? A woman to love him, a child to call his own. Such privileges were rarely offered to someone like him. And yet, he would ponder on her final words to him as her cab was waiting; _I love you, Remus_. Had he heard her right? He couldn't exactly have called after her as she ran, 'Excuse me? What did you say?' No, for one brief moment he could have sworn he had heard those words. '_I love you, Remus_.' Perhaps he had imagined it. Most probably. But with his whole being he hoped that these words were true, that she did in fact feel the same as he did.

He had told her, before she walked away, that he thought he loved her, when in fact he couldn't have been any more certain. He hated himself for not telling her. He could only hope that she knew.

He wrote to her once. The words came to him suddenly, and he had to write down his feelings before they became too much for him to bear. Unable to send it, he placed the letter into his drawer and whispered the word 'Soon'.

Hermione had heard him crying in the night. He knew she had. The girl never spoke of it, but would embrace him tightly the next morning, albeit briefly, but just enough to let him know that he still had someone. But it wasn't _her_.

He had begun to drink. He hated himself for it, but it passed the time. Soon Harry would come home, here to Grimmauld Place. The man knew that the drinking would have to stop. But Hermione would fill the boy in on his guardian's disheartening behaviour. She was worried, as Harry would be. He supposed he should be grateful to have someone care for him. But they weren't _her_.

When he closed his eyes, he saw her. Naturally dark hair falling in loose waves to her shoulders or those playful, pink spikes. Her deep dark eyes, which were sometimes haunted by thoughts he couldn't see, but always seemed to sparkle when she smiled at him. The Black cheekbones and her cute button nose. That smooth, creamy skin. Her laugh, sometimes a tinkle, often a bark so much like Sirius' but much more lighter. She had not been as bitter as him. Her petite frame, her small hands that fitted so well into his own. The ever-growing bump, which she tapped absently while she hummed to herself. He had chuckled lightly upon reading one of her many sloganed tee shirts: I'm not fat, I'm pregnant! 'What? It's true!' she had insisted with a squeal.

Oh how he loved her.

To think of her was painful, yet comforting. He needed to; he was worried he'd forget her. This, of course, was ridiculous. She had only been gone a month. But to Remus, every day felt like a lifetime.

She had told him before she had left that she knew he would mope. He had to agree that he was! But, as Harry's return approached, he knew that he had to buck himself up. The boy would arrive and then, as she had promised, his Dora would come home to him.

'Soon,' he whispered into his empty glass. 'Soon.'


	2. I'm back!

A/N: Harry's a little crazy in this chapter. Dunno why, it just happened. Anyway, read away :)

* * *

Harry Potter was being escorted back to Grimmauld Place by Mad-Eye Moody, Arthur Weasley, Hestia Jones and Emmeline Vance. He had to admit that he was rather disappointed to find that Lupin wasn't with them. The car journey with Lupin and Tonks the year before had certainly been an interesting one. Banishing the thought of Tonks singing loudly to a frustrated Lupin, he climbed the steps to Grimmauld Place with a grin. His guards excused themselves and returned to their duties, leaving Harry alone with Mr Weasley. 

"Ron and Ginny will be over tomorrow," the man said cheerfully as they dragged Harry's trunk away from the door. "Hermione's here, of course. And," he lowered his voice, "Perhaps you could have a word with Remus for us." The red-haired man gave a sad smile and clapped Harry on the shoulder. "Well, best be off," he said in his bright tone once more. He smiled at the boy once more and Disapperated with a pop.

Harry was left alone in the entrance hall. He considered taking his trunk up to his room, and then decided to go down to the kitchen instead. He stopped at the top of the stairs, seeing his friend Hermione Granger sat below. Her homework was spread all over the large wooden table, and a thick volume lay open in front of her. However, she didn't appear to be working. In fact, she was singing quietly as she bounced Lupin's Labrador puppy on her knee as if it was dancing. The dog's tongue lolled playfully. Harry gave a laugh and Hermione looked up, setting the dog down on her knee. It snuffled for attention.

"Harry!" she cried and rose from her chair, placing the puppy gently on the floor. Harry walked down the steps and gave his friend a hug at the bottom.

"Missed me?" he asked with a grin. Hermione pretended to consider this, then shook her head. Harry laughed indignantly. "Well I've miss you," he told the girl.

"You know I have, Harry," she smiled, sitting back down. The boy copied her. "I've been so bored here. I supposed I am allowed to leave, but I feel I have to stay inside…guess it's this place." She looked around the room dismally.

"Yeah, well you should come and stay at the Dursley's with me," Harry joked. He paused. "Aunt Petunia's been acting really weird recently."

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "How do you mean?"

"Well…she's been…nice." He gave a laugh. "Nicer than usual. Almost sympathetic," he decided. Hermione nodded but said nothing. Harry noticed the puppy sniffing around his legs and stroked her gently on the head.

"This little critter have a name?" he asked and Hermione shook her head.

"Lupin calls her Girl. He needs to choose a name soon or she'll start answering to it." They fell silent from the mention of the man. Harry took a deep breath.

"How's he doing?" he ventured quietly. Hermione shook her head but said nothing. "Is he in? I might go see him."

"He's in his room," the girl told him simply. Harry nodded and rose, squeezing Hermione on the arm affectionately before heading up the stairs.

After dragging his trunk and owl cage up to his room, Harry went in search of Remus. The boy stood outside of his former teacher's door. He took a deep breath. Was he nervous? Harry dismissed the silly thought and knocked with confidence.

"Come in," came the hoarse reply. Harry opened the door and peeped his head around to find Remus sat on his bed, a book in his hand.

"Did someone order a surly teenager?" he enquired with a grin. Remus looked up. His tired eyes brightened for a brief moment.

"Hello Harry."

The boy entered the room and crossed over to embrace his friend. They pulled apart quickly. Harry wrinkled his nose as he surveyed the man.

"Remus, you look like shit," he told him and the man gave a little laugh.

"I know Harry, I know."

Harry sat on the edge of the bed and swung his legs slightly.

"You sleeping ok?"

"No." His flat tone caused Harry to grimace.

"Right, well I'm gonna go downstairs and beg Hermione to make me some food. And you're gonna come down and eat with me because you look like you haven't had a meal since I left. Mrs Weasley's coming over tomorrow, and I don't want her shrieking at Hermione for not looking after you properly. So move." The boy took a deep breath after his rant and grabbed Remus' hand. He dragged the man half-willingly across the room by his wrist. Remus had to laugh.

"And for goodness sake name your dog," the boy said sternly as he opened the door. "You're going to give it an identity crisis!"

* * *

That evening, Remus felt more light-hearted than he had been since Tonks had left the previous month. It was good to have Harry home. Hermione was thinking of genuine suggestions for the dog's name, all of which Harry dismissed in favour of his own comical proposals. 

"How about Snuffles the Second," Harry suggested.

"No," Remus and Hermione cried together with a laugh. Harry looked crestfallen and then shrugged it off.

"Anyway, she would be Snuffles the Third," Remus reminded him.

"Oh yeah," Harry realised. Hermione frowned at them. "Tonks' cat was called Snuffles when she was a kid," Harry told his friend. "I'm guessing that's where Sirius got the name from."

Hours passed, unnoticed. Remus was finding some of Harry's ideas rather amusing. Hermione would purse her lips in disapproval and then suppress a giggle.

"Mrs Brown?"

"No."

"Mrs Maroon?"

"No 'Mrs' anything Harry."

"Ok…Maroon?"

"No."

"Maroon the Almighty?"

"No Maroon, Harry!"

And so it went on into the night, rejecting name after name. Hermione wanted something that would emphasise the fact that she was a Chocolate Labrador.

"How about something like Chocolate Drop?" she suggested. Harry and Lupin crinkled their nose in apparent dislike. "Ooh, or Honeyduke. That's a nice name."

Remus nodded, quite liking Honeyduke, but Harry scoffed.

"It's too pansy. All the other dogs would pick on her!"

Hermione gave an impatient sigh. "Fine, you think of a less-pansy name."

"Ok…Mrs Maroon the Almighty Chocolate Drop." There was a stunned silence.

"I'm going to bed," Hermione announced, rolling her eyes as Harry grinned at her. When the girl had vacated the room, Remus gave a laugh and ruffled Harry's messy hair.

"You're a crazy one at times Harry, in fact, all the time. Remind me not to let you name my child…or any of your own children for that matter."

At the mention of children, the room became suddenly tense. Harry licked his lips, and looked to the table.

"She'll be home soon, Remus."

"Yes… soon," the man echoed quietly. "If you'll excuse me Harry, I too should be getting off to bed."

Harry nodded and bade his guardian goodnight knowing that, as the man climbed the stairs, he was in for yet another night of unrest.

* * *

Remus decided as he awoke groggily the next morning, that he must have dozed off around four o'clock. He felt slightly disorientated as he sat up and rubbed a hand across his bleary eyes. He could make out faint voices from downstairs and realised that they had woken him. After showering and dressing, he made his way slowly downstairs to find the two youngest Weasley children sat at the table with Hermione and Harry. Mrs Weasley stood by the stove; breakfast was already on the go. Ron was sat next to his younger sister. He had lifted the puppy up from the floor and was attempting to balance it on his knees. The puppy was having none of it and squirmed to be let go. 

"Ron, she doesn't like you," Ginny insisted, matter-of-factly.

"Yes she does," her brother replied heatedly. He attempted to hold the puppy to his chest, but she looked up to him with her big amber eyes before nipping him sharply on his freckled nose. Ron gave out a yelp. Ginny and Hermione giggled and Harry hid his laugh behind his mug of tea. The redheaded boy rubbed at his nose with a scowl before passing the dog hurriedly to his little sister.

"Make sure you wash your hands before eating," Mrs Weasley said over her shoulder. "Oh, good morning Remus," she added lightly, being the first to notice the man. He smiled as he descended the stairs, taking a seat next to Ginny. "Are you hungry dear?" Molly inquired but Remus shook his head.

"Yes he is," Harry answered for him and Remus squinted at the boy playfully.

"So, how's Mrs Maroon the Almighty Chocolate Drop doing this morning?" he asked as he reached for the teapot. Ginny and Ron looked to each other and then back to their former professor quizzically. Harry and Hermione laughed, however.

"She's fine, but we've chosen a better name for her, haven't we Ron." Harry looked to his best friend, who finally clicked what they were talking about.

"Oh yeah. It's so suited to her," Hermione said sarcastically and Remus was apprehensive.

"Well…go on."

"Monster," they said together. Remus blinked and then shrugged.

"I like it," he said. Hermione gawped at him, her mouth hung open.

"Remus! It's vulgar… and she's so cute. It doesn't suit her at all," the witch protested. Remus smiled apologetically at her. "Besides, I thought we decided on Honeyduke."

"Well then Hermione, we shall call her Honeyduke, and Ron and Harry can call her Monster and we will see which name she warms to the most," Lupin reasoned. Hermione nodded.

"No, her name is Monster!" Harry stressed. "Honeyduke is too much of a mouthful anyway. Let's not confuse her by giving her two names."

"Fine! Monster it is," Hermione caved sulkily. Harry and Ron beamed at her.

* * *

The last week of August went rather quickly, Harry thought. He had to admit that it was probably because he was waiting for Tonks to arrive at any second. She would be likely to strut in as if she hadn't been away at all, trip over some random (or none-existent) object and sit down beside them, demanding a cup of 'British' tea. Harry smiled at the very thought of it. Remus was also eagerly awaiting the witch's return. His eyes would look up whenever he heard the front door close, only to lower and close them in disappointment. He would muster a fake smile and carry on with whatever conversation he was holding, but they all knew he missed her; he wanted her home. 

It was the night before Harry was due to catch the Hogwarts Express, and Grimmauld Place was filled with an unspoken unease. Harry found himself biting his lip nervously. Remus had hidden away in his room, seeking solitude. Harry, however, chose to ignore this and went to find him.

"Remus," he called quietly from the door. The man was lying on his bed, blinking at the grey ceiling. Harry crossed over to the bed and looked down at the man. Curiosity got the better of him and he snuck a glance up at the ceiling, just to see if Remus was actually staring at something. There was nothing there.

"She should be home by now," Remus croaked from the bed, breaking Harry's gaze. The boy nodded, not knowing what to say. "Why isn't she back yet?" he asked. Harry gave a shrug.

"I don't know Remus," he replied quietly. "Maybe she'll be back tomorrow."

"Or the next day, or the day after that," Remus said bitterly. Harry winced uncomfortably. The pair fell silent. Remus continued to study the ceiling intently.

"I don't think she's coming back," the man said suddenly, his voice cracking with emotion. Harry gave a sigh and sat on the bed beside him.

"Remus, don't say that. Of course she's coming back. Why wouldn't she?"

"Why would she?" he responded with a like question.

"For you, and the baby. For Hermione and me. Her family is here Remus. She belongs here. I know that, you know that and she knows it too. She's coming back Remus," he said firmly and hoped to Merlin that it was true. Lupin squeezed his eyes tightly together. They stung and he opened them, causing them to water. He gave a little cough.

"We'll see," he said quietly.

The next morning, the troupe hustled belatedly to King's Cross Station. Remus accompanied them, though he wished he could have stayed in his room and moped. It took less energy than to pretend he was ok. It was bad enough remembering his late friend's memorial service the year before, without having to be reminded that, as of today, he would be living in Grimmauld Place alone once more. Hermione seemed most aware of this and linked her arm through the man's as they travelled. She had lived with him now for quite some time, over the summer and before; when her parents had died. He had been a rock to her and she to him. To leave him now, with no one, was difficult.

They made their way busily through the barrier to Platform 9 ¾. The scarlet steam engine came into view and Harry had to admit that he did not want to board it. Of course he wanted to return to Hogwarts, on the contrary he was quite looking forward to his final year, but he would have much preferred for Tonks to have returned home before he had to go.

The students said their hurried goodbyes as the clock neared 11. Remus smiled sadly at them. Harry threw his arms around the man.

"Please don't be sad," he said lamely. The man nodded, knowing that he still would be but not wanting to bother the boy. "Let me know the minute Tonks get home, ok?"

"I will," Lupin said.

"And kick her ass for me for making us worry like this," Harry added with a grin. Hermione moved to hug her old professor. Tears were shining in her eyes.

"Cheer up. I'll write, ok? You're not alone, Remus," she whispered and the man nodded onto he shoulder.

The kids boarded the train and waved out of their compartment window as they began to move. Remus waved back wondering if he would be here in 11 years time, to see his own child off to Hogwarts. With dull hope, he turned back to the station as the train disappeared from sight.


	3. The Birthday

A/N: As HBP approaches, I realise that this will no way be posted in time. I'm determined to have it finished but I may have to take a break in updating to read HBP (you guys should too, it'll be way better than this). Also, it has come to my attention on various sites that some people are predicting Remus to die...if he does then there will be no more updates, as I will be seen jumping of the nearest bridge. Just a warning. Keep your fingers crossed.

* * *

Hermione Granger lay on her bed in her Hogwarts dormitory, staring at the drapes over her four-poster bed. It was a Saturday morning, not early and very bright, and the room was quiet indicating that she was alone. This didn't bother Hermione in the slightest as it gave her peace to think; for today was the 19th September, and Hermione's eighteenth birthday. The young woman had to admit that she didn't feel any different but guessed that it wasn't a physical development…rather that people would treat her differently. She was now an adult. Saying that, she had always been seen as the responsible one out of her trio and therefore nothing would change. She would remain Hermione. 

As the witch dressed, she contemplated the day. She planned to take a trip to Hogsmeade with Ron and Harry, where they could shout her a drink (for once) and be thankful that she had lived to see this milestone. The girl paused at this thought and a sad smile crept on her face. If only she could have shared this day with her parents…but no, they were gone, and she would have to spend every day without them. Why should this day be any different?

Hermione made her way slowly down the common room steps. She was surprised to see that it was almost empty, but then again most of the pupils were either down at breakfast, on the grounds enjoying the last of the good weather, or in Hogsmeade village. However, two people sat on their usual sofa by the extinguished fire; the two people she had been relying on and expecting. She cleared her throat as she came up behind them. Both boys turned quickly.

"Happy Birthday!" they sang with identical grins, before throwing themselves on her. She let out a squeal.

"Ok, ok guys. One at a time."

Ron went first, hugging his friend without making eye contact. He broke away quickly, his face red, and addressed the floor.

"This is for you," he announced, thrusting a present towards her. She smiled at his lowered head, and Harry rolled his eyes. Hermione opened the gift. It was a silver engraved locket on a very fine chain. She gave a gasp as she saw it.

"Wow, Ron! It's beautiful!" she exclaimed.

"It's from Ginny too," he mumbled quickly, as if embarrassed that his gift had been well-received. "Open it."

Hermione fumbled with the catch and thumbed apart the two pieces. She let out a quiet 'Oh.' Inside the locket was a Muggle photograph of her mother and father. Each smiling face took up one half of the trinket.

"Ginny copied your photos, she didn't want to cut up the ones in your room," Ron was explaining as Hermione stared with wide eyes at her gift. Her mouth was open in shock, though it seemed to be appreciative. "It was her idea," Ron finished lamely. Hermione's eyes welled up with tears. She threw her arms around Ron.

"Oh thank you Ron, thank you so much," she whispered into his shoulder. Ron swallowed hard.

"Well, that gift's so great. I might as well not bother," Harry said loudly from beside them. Hermione and Ron pulled a part. Harry was grinning at his friend as she frowned.

"I don't think so! Gimme."

Harry passed her the parcel, which was a similar shape to a book.

"It's from me and Remus…and Tonks I guess."

Hermione ripped off the shiny silver paper to find a deep red photo album bearing the words 'My Family Album' in large gold letters. _The colours of Gryffindor_, Hermione thought.

"Album's a bit lame, it was from W.H. Smiths," Harry told her with a grin. She laughed. "But look inside," he encouraged and she did so.

On the inside sleeve was written in fine, well-formed (and obviously not Harry's) writing:

_To our Hermione, our Minnie, our bright little star_

_Happy 18th Birthday_

_With lots of love from your family_

_Remus, Dora and Harry._

"I wanted to add Beaky and Monster too but Remus wouldn't let me." Harry pouted in disappointment. "We're going to add Baby Lupin's name when he's born."

"She," Hermione whispered automatically, though her eyes never left the covered pages of her new present. Various photos, both Muggle and magical, lined the pages, though the book was not yet full.

A picture of herself with Ron and Harry was on the first page. Another of her and Ginny, with Crookshanks. More copies of her parents, with a few of her present in the photo. Sirius and Tonks. Remus and Sirius. Harry and Hermione. A very random picture of Buckbeak, stood under a tree. Was that Grimmauld Place?

"I took that one especially," Harry beamed and Hermione laughed.

Remus and Harry came next and then a photo of the entire Weasley clan (minus Percy.) Finally came a delightful photo of pregnant Tonks, in her Hogwarts chambers dressed in pink pyjamas and looking thoroughly unimpressed at the camera. Her raised fingers emphasised this. Hermione smiled at it sadly.

"She's due today," she said, though she knew they knew. Harry simply nodded. Hermione flicked the blank pages until the album closed.

"I'll have to put some pictures of the baby in," she said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. She pulled Harry into a hug. "Thank you Harry, it's wonderful. I'll write to Remus, thank him too."

"Well, you don't have to. We're meeting him at the Three Broomsticks," Ron announced and Hermione's face lit up.

"Really? Great, that'll get his mind off…" she trailed off. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, that and–"

"And he can buy the round instead of you?" Hermione asked dryly. Harry and Ron grinned. "You guys are so predictable," she sighed with a grin. They really were, but she loved them for it. They were her best friends, her family, and she was thankful to spend her special day with them.

* * *

The three students made their way across the castle grounds. The weather was mild with a light breeze. It blew at Hermione's hair as she played with the locket around her neck. The girl rubbed it between her thumb and finger absently as she walked. Ron glanced across at her and beamed, pleased that she was wearing it. They arrived in Hogsmeade village, and headed straight for the Three Broomsticks. The pub was lively, but not overly crowded. Harry looked around the pub in search of Remus. He spotted him in the far corner. 

"There he is," he pointed for his friends, but they had already spotted him. The man was staring out of the window with a distant longing in his eyes; like a child with flu who wants to play out in the snow with his friends. Once again this man was being deprived of what he needed, and the effects were clear for all to see.

Hermione skipped over to him.

"This seat taken?" she asked and he broke his gaze from the window. Remus offered her a smile; it was genuine but took a lot of effort to do so. Her former professor rose and pulled her to him.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," he mumbled, kissing the top of her head.

"Thank you. And thanks so much for the present. It was wonderful," she told him. Remus simply nodded.

The kids took their seats and Ron and Harry stared around expectantly.

"Well, what can I get you?" Remus asked, starting to rise. Hermione placed a hand on his arm, indicating for him to sit down.

"No, Remus. Harry and Ron are buying the drinks. I don't care which one of you, you can fight amongst yourselves…I'll have a butterbeer, and Remus?"

The man felt like downing several large shots of Firewhiskey, and then pouring a tankard of ale over his head just to make a point. However, he strained a smile and decided against it.

"I'll have the same, thanks lads."

The boys could be seen squabbling at the bar as Hermione fidgeted uncomfortably beside Lupin. He sensed her tension and gave a sigh.

"No, I've not heard from her Hermione," he told her and the girl's shoulders slumped.

"Oh," she replied quietly. There was a pause. "I'm sorry," the girl mumbled. She took the man's hand and gave it a squeeze.

Once the boys had returned to the table, Ron looked between them.

"What are you guys talking about?" he asked as he shuffled back into his seat. Remus didn't answer and Hermione gave a shrug and an incoherent mumble. Harry licked his lips uncomfortably.

"So…have you heard from Tonks?" Ron asked suddenly before taking a swig of his drink. He quickly swallowed it as he received a sharp kick in the shin from under the table. He turned to Harry quickly and glared at his best friend.

"Ow, what was that for?"

Harry simply stared at him and Ron shrugged it off, wincing slightly.

"I was just asking. I care, that's all. We can't keep walking on dragon-egg shells can we Lupin?" Ron said. Remus shook his head.

"You're right Ron. I haven't heard from her, no. We agreed we wouldn't write to each other so it's to be expected." The man took a sip of his drink, knowing full well that he didn't believe his own words.

"Still…she was due back earlier this month. I thought she would have let you know what was going on, at least. And now with the baby being due today. Something's not right." Ron spoke the words that the entire group had been too afraid to even think. Hermione ran her hands over her face. Harry chewed at his lip.

"Anyway, I'll shut up now because you've all gone quiet and once again I've said something inappropriate and insensitive… sorry," he added and then hid behind his beverage. An uncomfortable silence surrounded them, made bearable by the hubbub of the pub.

"I don't think she's coming back," Remus said after a while, his voice sounding suddenly loud. All three students stared at him.

"What?"

"I didn't mean to imply that, mate."

"Remus, don't be a fool!"

"Oh come off it, guys. She was due home a month ago. When she left she didn't want to go…but something has obviously convinced her to stay there. Probably Andromeda, I don't know. And, yes, it hurts that she hasn't let me know. I wish that I knew what was going on, so I could get on with my life either way. But I can't! I'm torn between hating her for her selfishness and…and being utterly terrified that something's happened to her. I couldn't bear that so I'm just going to convince myself that she's chosen not to come home. That way I don't have to deal with the fact that someone else has been taken from me."

The man rose from the table, tears evident in his eyes, and crossed to the bar to order a double shot of Firewhiskey. The trio saw him down it, order a second and then carry it back towards their table. A stunned silence greeted him as he returned.

"Well?" he asked bluntly.

"I think you're an idiot," Harry said simply, looking at him with a hint of contempt.

"Probably," he mumbled, downing his second shot.

"How can you think for one second that she isn't coming home?" Harry shouted at him angrily from across the table. Remus said nothing. "For once in your life Remus, please, have the strength to believe that everything will be ok. If you can't do that…then what hope have I got?" he asked quietly. His emerald eyes met the man's lonely light eyes. The man looked away.

"You're right Harry. You're right. It's just so hard. I could be a father today. Maybe I already am, I don't know. Is it a girl, a boy? Does she have light hair, dark hair, green eyes, brown? What did he weight? What time was he born? Will I ever meet him? Will I ever know?" The man silenced himself with an emotional sigh. Harry, Hermione and Ron watched him intently. The man gave a sad smile.

"Maybe it's better off this way," he whispered and rose once more. "It was good to see you three again. Look after each other," he told them. "Happy birthday, Hermione," he said once more, placing a hand on her shoulder as he passed her to leave. They watched him open the door and disappear from sight, back to the cold empty rooms of Grimmauld Place. Back to his thoughts of a family he might never have.


	4. Halloween

A/N: This chapter is rather depressing (well the whole story is, actually.) It was a bugger to write, and this is about the fourth attempt. I'm still not happy with it. It hasn't come out as I wanted it too, but it was the best of the bunch so to speak. Because of its length, I've added a snippet of the next chapter on the end...

* * *

Halloween … a day that'll stay in my memory for the rest of my life. It was on this day, seventeen years ago, that my life changed forever. It barely registered as being All Hallow's Eve at the time, but I distinctly remember the smell of early bonfires and the dry leaves at my feet, as I stumbled numbly down the street in Godric's Hollow. It felt like a dream, my movements were slow, and I could hear nothing but the blood pumping loudly in my ears. I could taste blood in the air, but it wasn't mine. 

I had entered the Potter's home, before I had even realised it. It had seemed that my legs had taken my mind somewhere it had not wanted to go. Sudden noise pieced my eardrums; the hubbub of the Auror team. Had the streets really been that silent? Dumbledore was present, I remember that too. The elderly man wore a blank expression, but his eyes were filled with utmost sorrow. They reflected my own. I was led subconsciously from the nursery and to the spare room. Lily and James had always planned on having a large family. I wanted to stand but my legs insisted otherwise. Dumbledore lowered me into a seat by my elbow. A strange sight; the frail, old man aiding someone so much younger than himself. The room was dry, and I struggled to swallow. I kept my eyes low. Voluntary denial.

"Do you understand what has happened here tonight, Remus?" Dumbledore had asked quietly. His tone was gentle, almost paternal. I needed it, though I was no longer a student, no longer a boy. I wanted to scream. No, of course I didn't understand. So much had occurred in such a small amount of time. It hurt my brain to even begin to comprehend. However, I merely nodded. I knew all I needed to know…for the moment. Dumbledore copied my slow nod.

"And you've heard about Peter?" he asked regretfully. My head shot up, and our eyes met once more. No, I had not heard. Dumbledore hesitated and placed a hand on my arm.

"I'm so sorry, dear boy," was all he said. Now I screamed. Not words, as I remember…more a cry of devastation. I was suddenly thankful for being seated, or else I would have crumbled to the floor for sure.

"How?" I croaked a whisper, not really wanting to know but knowing I needed to.

"Sirius," came the simple response. And then my world officially ended. Dumbledore watched me closely as I sobbed in my chair, wishing I was alone and yet wishing I wasn't. It was a strange feeling…knowing that you're the last. It was beginning to get dark outside, and I was trembling from the draught from the window.

"Where is he?" I asked out of nowhere. Why, I do not know. I suppose a part of me wished he were dead along with them…a small part of me anyway. Dumbledore gave me a look, just a look, and it told me all I needed to know. Azkaban. As good as dead. It always amazed me how the Headmaster could communicate without words. He truly is a powerful man. He took my arm once more, and this time indicated for me to stand. I willed my legs to comply.

"Come now Remus, it is almost time." The man sounded apologetic, and he gazed out of the window into the early evening light of the rising full moon. Life really is cruel to me. I nodded weakly and headed on wobbly legs to the door.

"And Harry?" I suddenly remember. A mass of guilt hit me, it was almost physical. How had I not even thought of the boy until now? He had lost everyone, his parents, his guardian…his life? I hated myself for my selfishness.

"He's safe, Remus. He's with his Muggle family, they will protect him."

I found comfort in this as I left the room. Dumbledore watched me go from the upstairs window. I felt his eyes on me as I headed down the cottage path…such powerful eyes.

I will never forget that day. I wish I had been taken too. It's a strange feeling, to want to die. I almost hated my friends for leaving me, and not taking me with them. It felt asif it were something they had planned, and deliberately left me out of. That was just the lonely boy in me. Dumbledore had once said that death was the next adventure. It would be an adventure that the Marauders would be facing without me. And I was severely jealous.

And so…seventeen years later, I laugh bitterly at how my life has treated me. I'm still the same. Still lonely, still begging for acceptance. Still grieving my friends. Still fighting the war (the same one, but yet so different from the first.)

How can I ever believe that I will, one day, be free from this loneliness? It's too much to ask for, I should have realised this years ago and saved myself the heartache. But sometimes I can be fooled into believing that I can be happy. It's because I crave it, you see. Then again, it always seems so bitterly ironic, to a man who has lost so much, that I can always manage to lose that little bit more.

And once again, I curse and chide my heart for jolting in hope…as I hear a knock at the door.

* * *

Remus stood at the front door. He didn't realise that his mouth hung open until the bitter wind ached his teeth. He shut it quickly making his teeth click together. 

"Hello Remus," she said. He blinked at her. Was he breathing? No! _Breath Remus breath!_ "I guess you're a little surprised to see me," she added. Remus could only nod. "Uh…can I come in Remus, it's rather cold out."

Breaking out of his stupor, he nodded numbly and stepped aside to let her in…


	5. Daddy

A/N: My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones in the horrific terrorist attack on London today. My thoughts are with you.

I've had trouble submitting this chapter. I hope it works this time :)

* * *

Remus stood at the front door. He didn't realise that his mouth hung open until the bitter wind ached his teeth. He shut it quickly making his teeth click together. 

"Hello Remus," the woman said. He blinked at her. Was he breathing? No! _Breath Remus breath!_ "I guess you're a little surprised to see me," she added. Remus could only nod. "Uh…can I come in Remus, it's rather cold out."

Breaking out of his stupor, he nodded numbly and stepped aside to let her in. She carried with her a large black canvas holdall. Remus went to take it from her but the witch moved it to the other hand before he had chance. She shrugged off her black travel cloak and passed it to him. It smelt of the autumn air, bonfires and fog. Placing her big bag down gently, she turned to him expectantly.

"Uh…come in, please," Remus said, finally finding his voice. The woman nodded as he indicated to the kitchen door, and went to the top of the stairs taking her holdall with her.

To her relief, the kitchen was warm. She chose a seat close to the fire, and turned to watch Remus fill the kettle.

"I take it you know why I'm here," she called. The man went very still. He didn't look at her.

"I have a fair idea," he said quietly.

"Look at me Remus, please," she said softly and he turned slowly. The woman was pale, and seemingly older that the last time he had seen her. She looked tired. In all coincidence, she was having similar thoughts about him. Their eyes met briefly and then Remus looked away. He reached for the teapot.

"Would you like tea, Andromeda?" he asked. She shook her head.

"Please Remus, sit…would you?"

He didn't want to. Sitting would be an indication for her to start talking. He didn't think he could hear what she had to say. When her eyes refused to leave his, Remus caved and sat opposite her. He looked to his hands, resting on the weathered wooden table.

"You know, I've always hated this house," the older woman muttered. "Every time I come back here I tell myself it'll be the last." She gave a shrug, indicating that she had been wrong yet again. It went unseen.

"Will _this_ be the last time?" he croaked.

"Who knows Remus, who knows?" she whispered.

Silence fell between them and, for Remus it was unbearable. He closed his eyes, resting his face in his hands. The fire crackled loudly, and he could hear Andromeda shuffling in discomfort. _Might as well save her the heartache,_ Remus thought.

"She's dead, isn't she," he spoke up, though he didn't recognise his own voice. It sounded loud, almost alien, like he'd said it in a different language. Andromeda Tonks paused. He looked up with his tired eyes and saw her nod painfully, screwing her face up and letting hot tears fall. Remus looked back down. Of course he had been expecting it, ever since September, before even. He had been dreading the moment when his fear had been confirmed. And now it had arrived. It didn't ease the pain though. But he would not cry, at least not yet. He rose suddenly causing his chair to scrape on the floor. It startled her and she rose too, moving to him as he headed for the stairs.

"Remus, wait. Where are you going?" she pleaded. He ignored her. "Don't…don't you want to know what happened?" she asked and he stopped on the bottom step. He didn't face her, and his shoulders hunched slightly as if he hadn't wanted to hear her question.

"No, not really," he said numbly. Andromeda put both of her hands onto his forearm and led him back to the table. They sat next to each other, Andromeda's hand still placed on his arm comfortingly. Remus cleared his throat.

"Tell me this…did she suffer at all?" he asked her weakly. Andromeda's eyes flicked with something that he wished he hadn't seen. He gave a little sob and covered his face with his hands. She was crying too, sniffing loudly beside him. They sat this way for what felt like the entire evening. Remus felt sick. He wanted to scream at Andromeda, to tell her that she should never have come, that he was better off not knowing. But he dared not. Instead, he whispered

"And the baby?"

The woman's bloodshot eyes snapped up to his. She swallowed and then rose from her place, crossing the room swiftly to her holdall…no, not a holdall, Remus noticed, but a carry-crib. How had he not recognised it before?

Andromeda placed the carry-crib delicately onto the table and then placed her hand into the opening at one end. She wore a slight smile as she turned to the man.

"Say hello to your son and daughter, Remus," she said softly. Remus blinked at her once more.

"What?" he breathed. Andromeda's smile increased as she undid the carry-crib to reveal two sleeping bodies lying next to each other.

"Twins?" he asked unnecessarily in shock. Andromeda nodded and moved to pick up one of the children.

"This is Jake," she announced, and passed the bundle over to Remus. He took a step back and the grandmother gave a light laugh.

"Don't be shy Remus." Reluctantly, the man took his sleeping son. He had fine, blonde brown hair, and his eyes remained shut, though Remus secretly hoped that they were blue like his own. He looked down at him, sleeping soundly in his arms and felt a lump form in his throat. A major part of him wanted to grieve terribly for the death of his best friend, his lover, but he was overwhelmed by the happiness of meeting his infant child…children, for the first time. Andromeda now held the other child in her arms.

"The girl…what's her name?" Remus asked. Andromeda smiled down at her granddaughter.

"Tilly-Fay. I wasn't keen on it at first, I have to admit, but it's grown on me…Then again, I've always loved the name Nymphadora." The woman gave a laugh, which sounded more like a choke. She blinked away tears. "Yes, she'll be like her mother this one," she said with a smile, though her tone was cheerless. Remus nodded, agreeing with her. Tilly-Fay had the same heart-shaped face and button nose. She was pale, and had a head of full, black hair. Her eyes were open, and she was staring in her father's direction. Grey eyes, not like her mother.

"They're our Riu's eyes," Andromeda told him, reading his mind. The woman gave a wince of sorrow, and Remus knew that she had yet to fully grieve for her cousin, and now to have lost her daughter as well…Remus knew exactly how she felt. Jake began to gurgle and Remus looked down to notice that he was awake. Pale blue eyes looked back up at him and Remus' heart gave a leap of joy.

"Hey there Little Man," he whispered. The sudden thought occurred to him. He looked up to Andromeda.

"Dora and I would debate whether it would be a boy or a girl…I guess we both got our wish," he told her.

"Yes, that's exactly what she told me," the woman said lightly. "She…she also wanted you to know that the children have your name. It was her decision," she added, and Remus felt himself frown. From the sound of it, Andromeda had wanted his twins to be Tonks. He was thankful for Dora's decision, however and Remus decided to let it go.

"Did she…did she get to spend time with them before she …" he trailed off. Andromeda nodded.

"Oh yes, though not nearly enough," Andromeda said bitterly. Remus chewed his lip and then nodded to himself.

"How did she die?" he asked quietly. Andromeda place Tilly-Fay back into her bed and took a seat. Remus did the same, though he held Jake even tighter for comfort.

"The birth went well, as well as can be expected anyway. Bang on the due date and in a Muggle hospital as well, she wasn't so pleased about that, you know Dory–" She stopped abruptly and took a deep breath, banishing the new wave of emotions in order for her to continue. "She had to go with the caesarean option in the end. It was rather a shock to us all when she found out there were two," she gave a small laugh.

"You're telling me!" Remus murmured.

"Anyway, she named them…without my help, she insisted, and spent the next few days holding them and crying to herself. She wanted so much for you to be there Remus, she really did." Remus clenched his jaw, feeling as though Andromeda was almost demeaning him. He held his tongue and let her continue.

"She was fine at first…tired but that's to be expected. Then she began to get stomach cramps and … it turns out there had been complications."

"What sort of complications?"

"An infection. They began to treat it, but it was too late for her… She died three days later," she ended in a whisper. Remus looked back down to Jake, who had fallen back to sleep in his arms. He felt so many emotions at that moment; he didn't even think it was possible. His heart had broken, but he knew he had to stay strong for his children.

"She should have come back," he said through clenched teeth. "If she had come home when we had planned then she could have gone to St Mungo's. They would have cared for her…she would still be here if only she had come home! Why didn't she come home?" He was almost shouting now, terrified of waking the twins but feeling the need to let out at least one of his pent-up emotions.

"I told her to stay with us. It wasn't safe for her here. She needed to be with us, her family!" Andromeda snapped. Remus glared at her.

"_We_ are her family; Harry, Hermione and I. We've spent her entire pregnancy by her side. We helped her through the most difficult time in her life. And then you, her mother who ran away when she needed her the most, decided that it was best for her to stay!" he screamed at her. Jake began to whimper. Andromeda stared at him. She went to take the baby from him and Remus moved back slightly. "Don't you dare," he whispered menacingly. She cowered back into her chair, defeated. Remus shushed his crying son, wishing that he didn't feel so angry inside. His children would never know their mother because of Andromeda, why shouldn't he hate her? Why shouldn't he? It was easier to hate her than to hate himself.

"You know Remus, if I recall correctly, you were the one that sent her away," Andromeda said curtly. He glared at her.

"And how I wish I hadn't!" he snapped in reply. From the carry-crib, Tilly-Fay began to gurgle quietly. Remus took a few deep breaths. "I think you should leave," he said flatly. Andromeda nodded her agreement and rose abruptly.

"The children…they stay with me," Remus told her. She stared at him. "Andromeda, they are my children, they are staying with me," he repeated firmly, trying very hard to keep the level of his voice down. The woman licked her lips. She was shaking slightly.

"I am in the country for a month only," she told him. "I'm finalising the selling of our house, and Ted's business. Then I shall return to Canada for good…with the twins." She gave a firm nod to emphasise the fact. Remus shook his head, holding Jake tighter as if the woman were trying to pull the sleeping babe from his arms as they spoke.

"Remus," she hissed in frustration. "They belong in Canada, with their family."

"Muggles?" he scoffed. "I'm their family! They're Lupin remember? I'm sorry Andromeda, but they are staying here."

"What? You'll raise them single-handedly–"

"I have family too," he interjected heatedly.

"In this dive? You can't do that to them Remus, you can't! I know what it's like; I was raised in this hell…a Black! No child deserves that," she mumbled emotionally. Remus felt a pang of guilt and then chided himself for it. No, these were his children, his last link to his Dora. And he would fight for them like he had for her.

"For now, they will stay here," Remus said wearily. Andromeda's face flicked with a hint of argument, and then she sighed.

"Very well, but I will be checking up on them," she said as she moved to the stairs. _You mean me, _Remus thought bitterly.

"Look after them, Remus," she said quietly. "I'll see myself out."

And with that she was gone, leaving him to confront both his sorrow and his joy.


	6. Breaking the news

A/N: Lotsa reviews for the last chapter! I wonder why! I should be evil more often, lol. What do you guys think about the twins? I always planned on Tonks having twins (I mentioned that her dad was a twin in an early chapter of YMW3, which isn't canon btw) and all the arguments about whether it would be a boy or girl. Plus…twins are cool! (I'm a twin, lol.)

In response to **AlyceJL**, I had always planned on improving the summary of YMW3 but never got round to it because I couldn't think of anything suitable. I'm rubbish at summaries. Maybe you could read it and make a suggestion. (obviously plugging the story there, sorry :D)

Or, in fact, any of you readers who have read the first story and can think of a bettersummary for it…let me know. Cheers :)

* * *

Molly Weasley cradled a sleeping Jake Lupin in her arms, cooing him gently. It had been two days since Andromeda had arrived unexpectedly, and from that moment Molly had not left the Black manor house. After all, she was the expert child-rearer in the Order. There was nothing about children (especially twins) that she didn't know. The woman was tired, but she wanted so much to help. Lupin needed her. She glanced across the room to the grieving man. His hair was unkempt and stubble was forming grimly on his chin. He stared at his hands, clasped around a barely-touched mug of cold tea. Finding the courage, Molly cleared her throat and spoke up. 

"Can I get you another?" she asked quietly. The man shook his head wearily.

"No thank you, Molly," he answered her hoarsely. Molly looked at him sympathetically. She had been doing so for the past two days and it was starting to annoy Lupin. She knew she couldn't possibly understand what he was going through; the poor man. Mrs Weasley tried to imagine how she would feel if she were to lose her beloved Arthur. A lump formed in her throat at the very idea. No, she would thank her lucky stars every day when she woke and every night before she went to bed, that her Arthur, boys and little girl were safe…for now.

"We should take the twins out," she spoke up once more. "Just for a while. It's ever so dark and musty in here; it's not good for them. What do you say?" Remus didn't look at her he merely shrugged. Molly licked her lips patiently.

"We could go to the park, or even just a walk around the block," she ventured. Silence replied. Molly placed Jake back beside his sleeping sister. Remus spoke and it made her jump slightly; she hadn't been expecting it.

"Maybe…maybe we can go to Hogsmeade." His suggestion made Mrs Weasley start.

"Oh… Yes we can do."

Remus looked up to her for the first time since the start of their conversation. His eyes portrayed such fatigue and sorrow that Molly wanted to look away in pity and discomfort. However, she smiled gently and took his hand.

"Wherever you want to go, Remus."

Remus paused a moment. "I want to go to Hogwarts."

Molly felt her mouth open and then disguised it by responding.

"Well…I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"I have to, Molly. I have to speak to Harry."

"But Dumbledore said he would–"

"I know…but he needs to hear it from me. You understand?"

Molly nodded, knowing that he was right of course, and hoping that this wouldn't cause further turmoil for the suffering werewolf.

"Ok Remus," she nodded. "Let's go to Hogwarts."

* * *

Harry sat in the dungeons of Hogwarts, his chin in his hand as he 'listened' to Professor Snape rambling on about the properties of hellbore when used in invisibility potions. Harry had to admit that he found it extremely boring, and knew that he would probably not need an invisibility potion in the future, as he had his father's cloak. Nevertheless, Hermione continued to elbow him, making him pay attention. One rather sharp jab, however, caused him to turn to her and scowl. 

"Ow!" he hissed. "I'm listening, I'm listening!" But Hermione shook her head and then indicated to the door. Professor McGonagall stood in the doorway. Harry frowned and turned back to his friend with a shrug.

"Professor Snape?" she called in her shrill Scottish accent. The entire class turned to regard her, including the Potions Master himself.

"Yes Professor McGonagall?" he drawled questioningly.

"The Headmaster would like to see Mr Potter and Miss Granger in his office immediately," the Head of Gryffindor House announced. Snape looked rather put out. He gave a sigh of annoyance.

"Very well. Potter, Granger… Hurry up. Do not keep the Headmaster waiting," he snapped as the two students grabbed their things quickly and headed for the door.

Once outside the classroom, Professor McGonagall turned abruptly and marched off. Harry and Hermione exchanged quizzical glances and followed their Transfiguration teacher.

"Professor, what's this about?" Harry asked as they trotted alongside her. She did not respond to his question nor regard him; she simply carried on walking.

The grounds had become chillier as November had arrived. Harry could see his own breath as vapour, as he walked down the stone cloisters. Hermione was flanking McGonagall on the other side. She remained baffled.

"Please Professor," the girl said and McGonagall slowed. She looked at Hermione.

"Lupin is here to see you," she said simply and continued to walk. Hermione shot an apprehensive look towards Harry.

As they reached the spiralling staircase to Dumbledore's office ('Liquorice laces,') they stopped. McGonagall nodded to them.

"I must get back to my class." And with that, she turned on her heels and exited at a pace. Harry shrugged and made his way to the steps. Hermione followed. Once at the top, Harry gave a timid knock on the heavy wooden door. A reply could be heard from inside the circular office and he opened the door slowly. Harry and Hermione peeped their heads nervously around the door to find Dumbledore sat behind his desk, Molly Weasley sat the other side, in a rather large armchair, and Remus Lupin stood to one side, staring out of the window in agitation. Dumbledore nodded to the students to enter.

"Ah, hello Harry, Miss Granger. Do come in. I think, Molly, that we must leave them alone for the time being, do you agree?"

The redheaded woman nodded, gave a loud sniff and then rose from her chair. She crossed the office floor and gave Harry a tender squeeze on his shoulder before leaving the room. Dumbledore bowed slightly as he passed and then left his own office, closing the door behind him. Harry and Hermione stood still in confusion.

"Er…Remus?" Harry called, noticing that the man had not even turned to acknowledge them upon arriving. "What's going on?"

Before Remus could answer, though Harry wasn't entirely sure that he was going to, a gurgle could be heard from behind them. Harry turned to Hermione. She looked at him, also puzzled. They both turned around. On the table, which had once held an array of instruments and odd artefacts, stood a carry-crib. Harry's eyes widened and he took a step towards it.

"Meet Jake and Tilly-Fay," Lupin said hoarsely to the window. Harry gave a laugh.

"Are you serious?" he asked joyfully, crossing to the table. Hermione joined him, giving a gasp and bringing her hand to her mouth.

"Oh wow, Remus they're beautiful," she whispered softly through her fingers. The girl moved her hands towards one of the babies and then froze. "Oh…sorry," she began, turning to look at Lupin. He shook his head, still gazing out of the window.

"Go ahead," he told her. Hermione lifted the girl out of the crib and Harry took the boy.

"Hi, hi there," Hermione squeaked playfully as Tilly ba ba baa-ed. Harry gave a grin.

"Aw, they're so tiny. I don't want to hurt him," he said nervously.

"You won't," Remus assured him, turning to the boy for the first time. Seeing the two teenagers with the children, it brought a smile to his lips. It faded quickly. Regarding his former students for a moment longer, he sighed and took a step towards them.

"Fancy being Godparents?" he asked casually. They looked over to him with wide eyes.

"Really?" they asked in unison and Remus nodded.

"Yes…it's what Dora would have wanted." At these words, Harry's grin faded. He lowered Jake back into his bed and crossed over to his guardian.

"What?" he asked urgently. Remus shook his head and turned away. Harry grabbed his shoulder, pulling him back around. "No," he said firmly. "What's happened?"

Silence lingered in the office. Even the children seemed to be waiting for their father to speak. The man swallowed hard.

"She's dead, Harry," he said quietly, and then ran a hand across him eyes so as not to see the boys reaction. He then removed it to run it through his light brown hair, only to see the boy stood in a daze, shaking his head slowly.

"No…no she can't be…I don't believe you," Harry was saying. Hermione remained very quiet, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Believe it," Remus snapped angrily. "I don't know what you want me to say Harry! That she's fine…that any day now she'll come home and complete this family? I can't do that Harry, I can't. I can't lie to you, and I can't keep lying to myself anymore, ok? She's gone…she's gone." Remus broke down into sobs and Harry crossed to him immediately, throwing his arms around him and holding him tight. Hermione turned away, letting silent tears roll down her cheeks. She wiped them away fiercely before they had a chance to drip onto Tilly. Harry and Remus were crying together. The boy was mumbling incoherent words of comfort into the man's shoulder. They stayed that way for a very long time. Harry was worried that, if he let go, his friend would shatter in front of him. Remus finally pulled away from the boy, and gave a cough.

"I have to take the twins back home now. They'll need feeding soon," he mumbled. Harry nodded.

"Let me come with you," Harry pleaded with the man. Remus shook his head.

"No Harry." His voice was stronger now, almost in regret for breaking down previously.

"Remus, please."

"Harry…I'm fine. I don't need you," Remus told him gruffly. Harry paused.

"Well maybe I need you," he admitted quietly. Remus looked into his bright green eyes and then nodded.

"Ok, but not now. Soon. For now, you two have each other." He nodded to Hermione, whose eyes were had been rubbed red. She put the bubbling baby back with her brother and then carried the travel-crib to Remus' side.

"I'll speak to Dumbledore, see if I can arrange visits at the weekends," Harry was saying. Remus nodded absently.

"Ok," he mouthed. Harry pulled him in to another tight embrace, feeling tears fall from his eyes once more. _Poor Remus, fate has been so cruel to him his entire life, why could he not be content for once? _Harry thought bitterly.

"Stay strong for me, ok?" Harry murmured into his ear. He felt the man nod.

"Ok," he mouthed once more.

"You have two beautiful children now," Harry choked emotionally.

"I know," Remus whispered.

"And you have me," he added.

"I know," he repeated.

"And me," Hermione spoke up, taking the man's hand.

"And you," he repeated, attempting a smile. He took a deep breath. "You'll tell Ron and Ginny for me?" They both nodded, tears covering Hermione's face once more as she thought of how best to break the news. "Thank you. But no one else is to know. Dumbledore may announce it, he may not. I don't know what's going to happen from here."

He crossed to the door and opened it to find Molly sat outside looking tired and unhappy. She took the carry-crib from Remus, smiled sadly at her son's friends and headed for the stairs. Remus nodded to his two companions before following the woman, leaving Harry and Hermione alone to comfort each other in their grief.

* * *

A/N: Remember...review with your comments coz I love 'em:D 


	7. Baby Mine

A/N: This chapter is short and sweet. I really like Harry in this chapter. I prefer 'happy' Harry. He kinda annoyed me in OotP. Hope he's got over some issues in HBP. And about Tonks...I do what I have to do, or else there wouldn't be a plot...I hope you guys keep reading though. Things get interesting soon...

Oh yeah, Baby Mine is from Disney's Dumbo. I've cut and altered it slightly to fit the story, but it still aint mine :)

* * *

Remus was sat in his room in semi-darkness. It had become his favourite pastime of late. He perched on the edge of his bed, examining his hands intently in the pale light. He would rather study them than acknowledge the fact that he was alone. His chocolate Labrador puppy lay sprawled out on the other end of the bed. Her large amber eyes were watching him closely. Remus leaned back and sighed. 

"Here, girl," he whispered and the dog shuffled nearer. She had grown immensely since July, though Remus knew that she was nowhere near fully grown.

"We'll go for a walk later, eh?" Remus told her and she raised her head, twitching her ears as she listened to him talk. "If it stops raining. Maybe even in the rain, we'll see," he added, stroking her soft head. The dog pushed at his hand affectionately with her damp nose. Remus remembered when Tonks had given him the dog, moments before she had left.

"I didn't want you to get lonely," she had told him. Well, as his furry companion lay by his side, he had to admit that he was still lonely… and pining for her.

The house was quiet. It was a Friday evening, and Harry had turned up unexpectedly.

"I didn't really give Dumbledore a choice," Harry had said him as he had arrived. "I just told him I was going, that I'd be back before lessons on Monday, and left. He'll probably be mad but…" the boy shrugged. "What can you do?"

Remus wondered if the twins were asleep. Perhaps Molly was downstairs feeding them. He suddenly hated himself for not caring.

A knock came at the door, breaking his gaze from the sleeping dog beside him. The door opened awkwardly and Harry stood in the frame, a baby in one arm and a bottle in the other. He gave a grin and then clicked his tongue at the dog.

"Monster," he called and the dog looked up. Harry indicated to the door with his head and the dog jumped from the bed sleepily, stretching her hind legs as she landed, and then sauntered past Harry and out of the room. Harry closed the door with his back and went to sit the other end of the bed to his friend.

"I was feeding Jake but he spewed everywhere so I swapped with Mrs Weasley," the boy said with a laugh. "You're much more lady like, aren't you Tilly. Yes you are," he said down to the child. "You want to feed her?" he asked over his shoulder. Remus shook his head.

"No, thank you."

"Remus–"

"I said no, Harry," he repeated, firmer this time, and Harry knew to let it drop. The boy began to copy the suckling noises that the baby was making. The bottle was nearly empty.

"We'll have to take you down to Nana Molly for burping I think. Uncle Harry's not so great with the baby spew," he chuckled. Tilly raised an arm up to try and grab at Harry's face. He took her tiny hand.

"My, you're a pretty one aren't ya? Just like your Mamma. With brains like your Daddy, I'm hoping," he joked. Risking a glance across to his friend, he saw a sad smile. Harry took the bottle from the child and placed it onto the bedside table. He then began to rock her gently as she babbled. He gave a little laugh. "You singing? That's beautiful…you know, your Mamma used to make me sing for her randomly…she was a bit crazy like that…but I loved her all the same," he added quietly. The boy began to hum a tune and then added the words softly.

"_Baby mine, don't you cry  
__Baby mine, dry your eyes  
Rest your head close to my heart  
__Never to part, baby of mine.  
__Let those eyes sparkle and shine  
Never a tear, baby of mine._

_If she knew sweet little you  
She'd end up loving you too  
__What she'd give just to hold you.  
__But you're so precious to me  
Cute as can be, baby of mine._"

He finished with a quiet, nervous laugh. Remus was watching him, his face blank.

"I don't think I can do this Harry," the elder wizard spoke. Harry looked at him.

"Sure you can. You're going to have to…Tonks is gone Remus, and it kills me to see you like this. You have lost too many people in your life. It's not fair at all," he said bitterly, feeling such emotion towards the man who was like his father. "But you have been blessed with these two beautiful children and, although you're hurting so much right now, you have to be strong for them. You've already lost the first two or three months of their lives…don't allow your grief to take anything more from you Remus," the boy finished softly, turning back to see the girl asleep in his arms.

"It's hard," he croaked and Harry nodded.

"I know, but you have so many people looking out for you…especially me," the boy stressed and Remus smiled at him.

"I know, Harry. Thank you." He hesitated and the boy frowned at him. "Harry, it's a full moon tomorrow night. Molly's already told me she'll stay…but, I'm worried that…" He gave a frustrated sigh, tipping his head back and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "Andromeda, she's determined to take the twins back to Canada with her. I wouldn't put it past her to try something while I'm gone," he muttered resentfully.

"Remus, I'll be here. No one is taking the twins anywhere. I promise you," he said to the man with a nod.

"Thank you Harry."

The boy gave a grin and then shuffled up towards Remus.

"You can take you're daughter now," he said. "She needs burping anyway." The boy rose quickly and headed for the door. Remus gave a laugh.

"Yes, thank you Harry."


	8. That's Nymphadora to you!

A/N: This chapter is short, and goes with the next chapter so I'm posting the two together :)

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Remus, 

I know as you read this you'll be cross at me for writing, but I had to. I miss you so much. It's been too long, and I really wish I could come home to you, and Harry and Minnie. I will do, soon, I promise.

Are you thinking of me? I hope so. I know I left with some issues still between us, and I'm hoping that when I come home we can sort it out. That is, unless you don't want to and have decided to move on with your life and forget me. I guess that would be my own fault. I'm sorry I haven't come home yet. It's my mother's fault really. She convinced me to consider staying a little longer, and then pointed out that I was too far gone in my pregnancy to travel home. She's sneaky like that.

So, why aren't I home now? I've thought about this a lot, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm scared. Not of the war, but of us. I'm terrified that when I come home things will be different between us. It certainly won't be the same as it was… And then there was my hurried 'I love you,' before leaving your life. Perhaps I shouldn't have told you, but I wanted you to know, and I still do Remus, I really do. As I sit here now alone, I can't help but hope you feel the same. You told me you thought you loved me, and now I'm scared that your feelings have gone because I've been away too long. I hate myself for it. Then again, some wise bloke said 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'… It was probably a woman actually…I hope she was right.

I can't wait for you to meet the twins. I'm anxious to know what you'll think of them. Twins, who'd have thought it? My father was a twin, so I guess it's in the family on my side, I dunno about your side. Still, it was a pleasant surprise. One of each…I'm sounding like a collector. Crazy! Tilly was born first. She's a funny one; we'll have to watch her. Jake's so much like you already, it's scary! I hope they have your common sense…and balance! I love them so much, Remus. I love them more every day. They really are the best gift I've ever gotten…thank you so much.

Right, I'm rambling and feeling all over-emotional. I'd best say goodbye now and go to bed. I'll be home soon, Remus. I promise. I miss you so much. In fact, I'm contemplating catching the next flight home. Maybe I'll make it home before this letter reaches you. Nah, I'd better not, Mamma would be furious. She's been quite over-protective recently. Please don't tell anyone I've written, least of all my mother. Don't be mad I wrote. I'm a risk taker…just like you.

Missing you and loving you more with every breath,

Dora (That's Nymphadora to you.)

x x x


	9. The letter

It was a dreary Saturday evening, and Remus was sat alone in the drawing room of Grimmauld Place, a half-empty scotch glass in one hand and a piece of parchment in the other.

Harry had entered quietly, observing the man. It had become the boy's routine to visit at the weekends. Dumbledore had not mentioned it to Lupin, and so the man had come to expect it.

The boy shuffled into the room, knowing that Remus knew he was there. To see a man who was once so strong, a role model in the boy's own life, become haunted and disheartened; it was hard for Harry to bear.

"Do you want a drink?" the man's voice came across the room. Harry shook his head, unseen. The man crossed to the dresser nonetheless and retrieved another glass. He poured the amber liquid with relative care, and held it out towards the boy. Harry crossed and accepted it, looking down at the contents as it sloshed in the grimy glass.

"Cheers," Remus mumbled, clinking the rim of his glass against Harry's before downing the beverage and refilling his glass. Harry took a tentative sip; the stuff was strong, he could tell that from the smell. He only hoped Remus hadn't had too much. The man gave a little cough and sat down. Harry copied him, noticing the piece of parchment clasped in his hand.

"Have you seen the twins today?" Harry ventured. Remus shook his head.

"Molly's taken them to the Burrow. It'll do them good to get outside…away from this place," he murmured and emptied his glass once more. Lupin went to rise, and Harry stopped him quickly.

"What's that?" he asked, indicating to the piece of parchment. Remus looked at him for a moment and the boy could see the anguish and sorrow in the man's bloodshot eyes.

"It's a letter…from Dora," he said hoarsely. Harry blinked at him. "She must have written it a while ago, it's only just arrived." He stood, leaving the letter beside Harry. "I wish it hadn't," he croaked and crossed back over to where he had placed the decanter. It was almost empty and he gave a growl of frustration. "Read it," he called simply as he emptied the liquid into his glass. The boy reached for the letter tentatively. He read it, once and then again, chuckling slightly at the woman's light-hearted words. He could hear her voice in his head as he read it. Harry finished his drink and lowered the letter onto his lap as Remus took his seat again.

"Really could have done without that," he told the boy. Harry looked at him sympathetically.

"She really loved you Remus," he said quietly. Lupin lowered his head and closed his eyes, almost as if he were in pain. A tear fell, and he wiped it away angrily.

"Did you love her?" Harry asked softly. Remus gave a little sob and nodded. He took a deep breath and looked into Harry's green eyes.

"Do you think she knew?" he whispered and the boy nodded this time.

"She knew before you did,"Harry answered with a sad smile.

The wizards sat in silence. Remus brought his glass half way to his lips and then lowered it. He passed it to Harry instead, who finished it for him. The boy scanned through the letter once more. Remus was watching him from the other side of the couch. The boy looked puzzled and Remus frowned.

"What?"

"Erm, nothing," he said, giving a swallow. When Remus continued to stare, Harry sighed. "It's just…what do you think she meant… 'Don't tell anyone I've written, least of all my mother,'" he quoted, and then looked to his friend. "That doesn't make any sense," he mused. "Why would she say that if her mother was in Canada with her at the time?" the boy asked, clearly confused. Remus shrugged; he hadn't really given it much thought. Harry fell silent again, re-reading the letter. It was almost as if he was studying it, word for word. Remus had done the same, but for a completely different reason.

"Remus… I … I don't think she's dead," Harry spoke up, causing Remus' head to rise quickly. Harry cowered immediately, but his eyes shone with confidence.

"Don't Harry, please," Remus begged. Of course, when he had received the letter, he had hoped for a brief moment that Tonks was still alive. He wanted nothing more. But to convince himself of it would be foolish. It would only lead to further turmoil and Remus knew he couldn't cope with that.

"But–"

"Harry stop it!" he shouted, silencing the boy. "One over-due letter does not change the fact that she has gone. You have no idea how much I want what you're saying to be true. Really I do! But I'd be setting myself up for another fall, Harry. And I don't think I'd manage. So please…don't," he finished quietly and took the letter from him. Harry winced in guilt and discomfort.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, and Remus too felt guilty. He laid a hand on the boy's shoulder and gave it a tight squeeze.

"I'm sorry, Harry. You miss her too…but she's gone. I need to accept that and…well, become a father."

Remus knew it was about time. He'd neglected his newborn children for too long now. Their mother was dead, and he was all they had. He would love them as much as Dora had, and they would know that he had loved their mother too.


	10. A visit from Dumbledore

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews guys, really. You're the best! Ok, this chapter annoys me and I was tempted to cut it out...but I kept it in, lol.

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It was an early Wednesday evening and Remus flopped into a kitchen chair wearily. Blowing his overly long flecked hair from his eyes, he considered reaching for the Firewhiskey. 

_No_, he thought, _not tonight_.

Instead, he reached to the crib that held the twins. He rocked it soothingly. They had been asleep all day, causing Remus to demand Molly to return home for the night. Molly had squabbled with him, insisting that she was needed but Remus had been firm and the woman had given in. Remus was now alone with his two beautiful children for the first time…and it frightened him!

Such a daunting task, raising children, especially alone. Remus doubted he would cope well especially when, after Mrs Weasley had been gone for a mere ten minutes, Jake had burst into a shrieking fit for an hour.

_Doesn't that hurt you to cry so loud?_ Remus had wondered. _Wouldn't you prefer to be quiet? You know you want to. Give it a try._

But however convincing Remus tried to be, the boy continued to cry. And so, over an hour after Mrs Weasley had left, the kitchen had finally gained its usual peace.

"Have I gone deaf?" Remus had asked aloud, to answer his own question. Apparently not; it appeared that Jake had fallen asleep. _And about bloody time!_

Remus sat enjoying the silence, unaware that his exhausted eyes began to close. His head lolled forwards slightly, though he remained upright in his chair.

How long he had sat like this, he couldn't tell. Suddenly, a noise from behind him jolted him awake and he grabbed his wand instantly. Scrambling from his seat, he raised his wand, his mouth open to cast a curse. The man faltered and lowered his wand and head.

"Oh, Professor Dumbledore…"

"Good evening Remus."

"I'm sorry…that was really stupid of me," Remus said lamely. Dumbledore was the last person Lupin expected to see, though it wasn't surprising. _This is the Order Headquarters as well as your home, _he reminded himself. The elder wizard shook his head lightly.

"Not at all, my dear boy. I'm glad to see you're on your guard." The man's eyes twinkled impishly. Remus felt his face heat up.

"I…must have dozed off," he mumbled and Dumbledore chuckled. Remus indicated for him to sit. The Headmaster did so, and peeped in at the sleeping babes.

"Can I get you a drink at all?"

"Tea would be nice, thank you Remus."

Lupin rose from his seat and crossed to the kettle. He lit the stove with his wand and prepared two mugs of hot tea. Dumbledore smiled his appreciation.

"So, Remus, how are you?"

"Not so good," he decided to respond honestly. Dumbledore nodded slowly, a look of regret and sympathy on his aging face.

"Well you seem to have these little ones under control," the Headmaster commented. Remus simply nodded, feeling utterly relieved that Jake had decided to shut up before the Headmaster had made his visit.

"You're going to make a great father, Remus," Dumbledore told him assertively.

"I hope so," Remus muttered and took a small sip from his cup. A silence fell between them and Remus felt suddenly uncomfortable.

"Uh, do you mind telling me why you are here, Sir? Not that I don't appreciate the visit," he added quickly. Dumbledore smiled.

"I've come to talk to you about Harry," the elder man told him. Most conversations held around that kitchen table usually involved Harry. Even if he weren't the topic of conversation, his name would crop up somewhere. Remus pitied the boy, and hope that he himself wasn't talked about too much behind his own back. Then again, why would he be?

"Is something wrong with Harry?" Remus asked. He wasn't heavily concerned though. The boy was at Hogwarts; it was the safest place for him. Dumbledore shook his head.

"No, no…Harry is fine…but he's worried about you."

Remus let this comment hang in the air, not knowing how to react. Dumbledore leant forwards on his elbows. His powerfully pale eyes met with Lupin's and the man almost flinched; such strength in those eyes.

"Mr Potter came to me the other day, speaking of a letter."

Remus felt his stomach jolt. It was almost as if he had been betrayed. He didn't know why though, it wasn't a secret after all. Then again, perhaps he should never have shown the boy.

If Dumbledore read anything on the man's face, he ignored it.

"Harry told me he had read this letter–"

"Did he tell you its content?"

"Only the parts which supported his suspicions," Dumbledore said quietly.

"Which are what exactly?" Remus said, more harshly that he had intended to. He knew, of course, but he wanted it clarified. Dumbledore gave a sigh.

"Harry believes that Nymphadora is still alive."

The words lingered between them. Somehow, hearing it from Dumbledore himself, Remus found himself being convinced. Then he chided himself for it. Such thoughts were dangerous. It would not be wise to even hope.

"Harry's young and foolish," he croaked without meaning too.

"Perhaps," the other wizard countered. "But he has lost a lot of people in his life–"

"As have I," Remus snapped. Internally he cringed. _Don't wake Jake. Do **not **wake Jake … Merlin, don't wake them both!_

"You must understand, son. Harry needs hope. He needs something to hold on to." Dumbledore's tone was soft, contrasting greatly with Lupin's and making him feel even more foolish.

"Not this, Albus. He can't have this."

Silence fell in the kitchen once more. A gurgle came from the crib and both men saw that Tilly-Fay was awake. Dumbledore was watching her intently.

"She's a lot like Sirius," he observed.

"Yes. But not a Black," Remus said quietly but firmly.

"Not a Black," Albus echoed.

Remus reached for Tilly and held her in his arms tightly. She blinked up at her father with stunning grey eyes. It made Remus want to cry every time he saw them. His daughter was so beautiful. And he was so lucky to have her, both of them.

"Do you believe Harry?" he found himself asking. His eyes remained fixed on his little girl.

"I wanted to. As I'm sure you did. I know it is unwise to place hope so precariously Remus. But Harry's words sparked a flame in me that I could not let to rest. Curiosity can cause obsession in the most blasé of people."

Remus frowned at the man's words.

"What exactly did you do, Sir?" A pause.

"Naturally…I wrote to the girl."

Remus felt his mouth drop open. He then gave a hoarse and bitter laugh.

"Did she reply?" he asked wryly.

"Well…no, I'm afraid not," Dumbledore admitted regretfully.

"Then maybe you can speak to Harry and tell him to put this nonsense out of mind. He has more important things to be worrying about than me. I will be haunted by Dora's memory for the rest of my life. I see it in my children. I do not need Harry's unlikely ideas filling my fragile mind. Tell him to grieve…and tell him to get over it."

Remus knew his words were harsh, but maybe that's what Harry needed. The man rose, and Dumbledore did the same. The old man gave a slight nod of resignation.

"Very well, Remus. I will speak with the boy."

Lupin hoped, of course, that Dumbledore had sense to word it slightly more tactfully than he himself had just done.

"Thank you for the tea."

"Thank you for the visit. You're welcome any time, of course," Remus said sincerely, feeling slightly cheeky for saying so after the way he had just spoken to his senior.

"Thank you Remus. Good night."

The wizard left, and Remus slumped back down into his seat, feeling even more drained than he had before. He wasn't pleased with Harry; that was for sure. In fact, Remus felt a slight pang of annoyance towards the boy. He suppressed it though. Albus had been right, the boy had lost too many people in his life…it was almost natural to hope for their return. After all hadn't he, Remus, wished for his friends to return years after they had passed on. No, it was unfair to be angry with Harry, especially when a part of Remus secretly longed with all his might that the boy was indeed right.


	11. Haunted

A/N: I'm not gonna say anything...I'm just gonna smile :)

* * *

It hardly felt like a month, Remus thought as he opened his door to Andromeda Tonks once more. The woman offered no greeting, but stepped inside. She headed straight for the kitchen and Remus followed, feeling as if his stomach had suddenly turned to lead. 

"Hello Molly," Andromeda greeted the woman.

"Hello Andromeda," she replied with a curt smile, and then looked to Remus for reassurance.

"Where are the twins?" Andromeda asked. She looked around the kitchen needlessly, as it was clear that they were not present.

"They're sleeping," Remus said pointedly.

"We've just got them settled," Molly added, her tone lighter than the man's. She felt a confrontation brewing, and hoped to avoid it. Andromeda stared at them for a long moment.

"I am to return to Canada tonight," she announced and the man nodded.

"I know you are. But you are mistaken if you think for once second that you are taking my children with you."

Andromeda's nostrils flared in annoyance. If she were one to growl, she would have done so. Instead she smiled sweetly and adopted a voice that rivalled Umbridge. It made Remus cringe in disgust.

"I really don't think you can stop me, Remus. My grandchildren were born in Canada, they will be raised in Canada. That was always the plan."

"That was always _your_ plan!" Remus was shouting now, and he saw Molly flinch from the corner of his eye. "You want to hear my plan? I planned to be at the birth of my children…I wasn't. I planned to spend the rest of my life with Nymphadora…I can't. I plan to raise my children, here in this house…and now you're telling me I can't do that either?" He gave a bitter laugh. "What right do you have, Andromeda?"

The woman paused, clearly taking in all that he had thrown at her. She gave a small, almost regretful sigh.

"In case you've forgotten, Remus, there is a war going on. Grief can sometimes make us overlook the dangers. I only want what's best for the children. It's not safe for them here…and then there's the fact that…" she trailed off, but Remus recognised the look in her eyes.

"What? That I'm a werewolf! Do you honestly think I would ever hurt my own children… or anyone! I'm not a bad person, Andromeda. Whatever reasons you have for wanting to take my children that cannot be one of them! I won't allow it to be, do you here me? I am their father, Andromeda. And I am human too!"

Faint crying could be heard from higher in the house. The three adults regarded each other. Andromeda moved first, towards the stairs. Remus was hot on her heels. Molly watched the twin's guardians leave at a pace, heard them bickering as they did so. Doors were slammed causing the crying to amplify.

Molly sat down wearily and blew a strand of fading red hair out of her face. It was almost funny how Harry, as a child, had not been wanted at all…and here were two people fighting to love these children.

Molly wanted them to stay, of course she did. The twins were her only hope of happiness during these dark times. Perhaps it was selfish of her, but she couldn't help it. They needed a reason to carry on.

Mrs Weasley crossed to a pile of newly laundered baby clothes. Some had come from Andromeda, and some were Molly's own. She lifted out a baby-grow. It was cream, though it had probably been white once. Molly smiled as she remembered holding Bill in her arms for the first time. How happy she had been. Who would have guessed then that so many more would follow? Her thoughts turned to Percy, her estranged son, and hoped that wherever he was he was happy…and safe. These truly were hard times, and the worst was yet to come. Mrs Weasley knew that not everyone would survive this war; she was realistic. But she was still allowed to hope, wasn't she?

A bang from the next floor jolted her from her thoughts. She smiled slightly, recalling the familiar noise; the umbrella-stand being knocked over. The woman swallowed sadly. It was a noise she hadn't heard in a while, and she was surprised to find that her eyes filled with tears at the sound of it.

She instinctively looked up to the top of the stairs. So many times the bright, young Auror would enter with an apologetic grin, head for the teapot, spill the milk (again, with an apologetic grin) and share her day with Mrs Weasley. Then, when Tonks had been given the post as Defence teacher at Hogwarts, the woman rarely saw the young witch. When Tonks and Charlie had started seeing each other, Molly was so pleased that such a kind and dependable girl had fallen for her son. But it wasn't to be. Molly still loved her like a daughter though, and she would love these twins like her grandchildren. Mrs Weasley began to turn back to the laundry, when a voice made her freeze.

"Hello Molly."

The woman held her breath and looked back to the stairs. Had she really heard that voice? Could she really see that familiar figure? This house was known for playing tricks on ones mind.

"Did you miss me?"

Molly dropped the baby item she was holding. She threw her hands over her mouth, shocked that she was shaking.

"I'll take that as a yes," Tonks said with a grin as she skipped down the steps. The witch dumped her travel bag on the table with a thud, and opened her arms wide. Molly embraced her numbly, feeling the arms close around her. This was too real and she wasn't sure if she liked it.

"Hey, Molly you're trembling," the younger witch whispered in concern. Mrs Weasley began to sob into the girl's dark hair. "What's wrong?"

"I…We thought you were…Oh Merlin, Dora we thought you were de…dead!" Molly stuttered a cry. Tonks frowned and pulled away from the older woman slightly.

"Why would you think that?" she asked with a nervous laugh. Molly was sniffing now, wiping her face with her apron. "I mean, I know I was away longer than planned but didn't my mother tell you–"

Tonks was cut off by another wail from the woman. She frowned as the woman buried herself into her shoulder once more. Tonks patted her on the back comfortingly.

"Well, I know my mother's been here," she observed, seeing the baby items scattered around the kitchen. "Molly, please stop crying! Tell me what's going on!" she said firmly. Molly nodded and took a seat. Tonks joined her, staring at the woman expectantly. Mrs Weasley took a deep, calming breath, wiped her blotchy face once more, and began.

"Your mother told us that you were dead, Tonks. She said you'd died after child birth," she mumbled quietly. Tonks gave a bark of a laugh. It echoed around the quiet kitchen.

"Don't be daft."

"It's true. We all thought you were dead. We all believed her…why would she lie?"

Why, indeed. Tonks frowned, studying the pained expression on her friend's face. She gave a little shiver.

"Why would she do that?" she asked herself, rather than Molly. "She was meant to tell you all that I was fine and would be home in a month. I couldn't wait for Remus to see the twins so I told her to take – Oh God, Remus!"

"He was devastated. Even more so because your mother insisted on taking the twins back to Canada with her tonight."

"What!" Tonks screamed, jumping up from her seat. She couldn't believe this. What was her mother thinking!

"Where are the twins, Molly? I have to see them."

Molly nodded, knowing the heartache that a mother would face, when being separated from her children for any length of time.

"They're asleep upstairs," she began and Tonks headed for the staircase.

"Thank you for taking care of them Molly," Tonks said quickly but sincerely. Molly nodded again, feeling honoured to be able to help.

"Wait Tonks!" The woman stopped in her tracks. "You really should talk to Remus."

"He's here?"

"Yes, with your mother."

At these words, Molly saw a flicker of grim abhorrence in the young woman's eyes. It was not often seen in the eyes of an Auror. Tonks gave a nod and continued up the steps to find Remus…and her mother.


	12. Broken Hearts

A/N: What is with this chapter? Seriously! I hate myself for it, so I know you guys are going to. I didn't intend for it to come out like this, I just started writing and this is what happened. Shrug. There should be two or three chapters after this one. I'll try and fix this mess I've made. Bear with me...

* * *

Remus was fuming. Having comforted his crying child (Jake again!) and made Andromeda wait out of the room as he did so, he was expecting a heated confrontation when he left. He got one. 

"Can I see them?" Andromeda hissed as Lupin closed the bedroom door with a smug smile on his face.

"No, I don't think so," he replied casually and headed back down the corridor, hoping that the woman would not enter the room. She didn't. Instead she stalked after him. Remus practically felt her blazing glare on his back. She was shouting at him now, though Remus wasn't listening. They headed back down the stairs quickly. Remus hoped to get the grandmother as far away from the sleeping children as possible.

"Remus, are you even listening to me?" she screeched, yanking him around with a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Shh, you'll wake the twins," Remus whispered, deliberately trying to wind up the older woman up. She huffed loudly and pushed the man through the nearest door into the drawing room.

"I don't want to argue with you, Remus," she snapped. He shrugged.

"Then don't. Leave. You know where the door is, I'm sure I don't have to escort you."

Andromeda's mouth dropped open at the man's rudeness.

"I hope you weren't as rude to my daughter, Lupin."

This clearly touched a nerve; she could see it in his eyes. Andromeda almost smiled. She decided not to.

"No I wasn't," Remus answered finally. "But there's no way in Hell your daughter would ever ask me to do what you're asking me to do tonight. Do you honestly think this is what she would have wanted, Andromeda?"

"You're just saying that because it's what _you_ want," she spat back. "You're just being selfish!"

"Perhaps I am!" he shouted back at her, pacing angrily across the floor. "But, after all the shit I've been through in my life, I think I'm entitled to, don't you?"

"You think my life's been great? Do you? We all have to suffer, Remus, some more than others. And I'm choosing you over me. I'm taking the twins now, and I don't ever want to hear from you again." The woman headed purposefully to the door. Remus had to think fast.

"If you even attempt to take those children, the Ministry will hear about it."

She turned to him and gave a bitter laugh.

"The Ministry? Do you really think they'll prefer you over me, you filthy werewolf!"

"_Mamma_!"

The sharp, new voice caused Andromeda to turn around abruptly. She froze suddenly, feeling her insides turn ice-cold. Taking a deep breath, she crossed over to the door, and to her daughter. The young witch's eyes were dark and set.

"What are you doing here, Dora?" she stuttered nervously. She was trembling, her daughter noticed.Tonks' eyes widened in anger.

"What are you doing here!" she hissed. Then her eyes fell on Remus who hadn't even acknowledged her. The man seemed so tired and fragile. It broke her heart.

"Get out," Tonks muttered through clenched teeth. Her chest was heaving with each heavy breath. Andromeda just blinked at her.

"But, Dora–"

"Get out!" she shouted this time. Andromeda flinched and fled the room. Her daughter turned her head away in disgust as she passed her.

The room fell suddenly silent. Tonks was still breathing heavily and she was beginning to feel dizzy. This wasn't quite the homecoming she had expected. Tonks closed the door quietly behind her and walked slowly to the man who was now seated on the old couch.

"Remus?" she called out. The man continued to stare at his hands.

"Remus?" she asked again, louder this time. Lupin raised his head slightly upon hearing her, but still refused to meet her gaze. He gave a little sob. Tonks swallowed hard and reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. She hesitated, then brought it back slowly to her side. This was going to be hard, she could tell. Tonks shuffled with her feet, wringing her hands uncomfortably.

"Are you ok?" she asked quietly. _What a stupid thing to ask_, she thought. However, it got a response.

"No, I'm not ok," Remus croaked. Tonks remained silent, waiting for him to elaborate. "She's going to take my children from me."

"No she's not," Tonks said lightly and shook her head. Remus put his head in his hands.

"She will," he whispered, "and then I'll be alone again… like I always am."

"Remus, you're not alone," Tonks insisted firmly.

"Well, I certainly don't have you!" he retaliated, his voice finding strength. Tonks frowned and bit her bottom lip. Taking a sigh, she crouched in front of the grieving man.

"Remus, look at me," she commanded gently. Remus shook his head.

"No."

"Remus," her voice was stronger this time. She took both of his hands in hers, leaving Remus no choice but to face her.

"Your hands aren't cold," he mumbled. No they weren't, was he expecting them to be? "Why do you do this to me?" he asked suddenly and Tonks blinked at him in confusion.

"Do what?"

"You know what! Make me remember, day after day. Do you really think that's fair? I didn't think you'd do that, Dora… Not you."

Tonks hesitated. She licked her lips and took a deep breath.

"Remus…I'm not dead," she told him. His eyes never left hers.

"Stop it," he pleaded weakly.

Tonks stared at him a beat longer, before placing both of her warm hands onto his cheeks and pulling him in to a deep and overdue kiss.

Remus kissed her back softly, not entirely sure what was going on. She had never felt so warm before. She had never felt so real.

Tonks broke away and flashed a little smile; her smile, which she saved only for him.

"Dead gals don't kiss like that," she announced impishly. Remus studied her intently for a brief moment, before pulling her close. The man began to sob quietly onto her shoulder.

"Shh, it's ok," Tonks whispered soothingly, rubbing the man's back gently. She brushed her lips lightly over his neck, mumbling incoherent words of comfort as the man cried.

Eventually Remus pulled away, though he kept hold of Dora's hands tightly, as if worried he would lose her again.

"I don't understand," he murmured quietly.

"Me neither," Tonks croaked. "But I'm back…for good this time. No one's going to take me or the twins away from you Remus, I promise."

The man blinked at her, wishing that her words were true. But life was unfair, especially his life, and he knew that his family would never be safe as long as the war raged around them. He couldn't risk losing them, not like that. He knew what he had to do.

Remus suddenly rose from his seat, causing Tonks to almost over balance in her crouching position. He crossed to the window and ran a hand over his face, sniffing loudly as he did so. Tonks frowned at him.

"You can't stay here," he said unexpectedly, as he turned to see her sat on the floor. Tonks felt her mouth drop open.

"What?"

"You can't stay here," he repeated, placing emphasis on each word. "You can't expect to come waltzing back in and have everything as it was…you've been gone to long."

Tonks couldn't believe what she was hearing. Why was he being like this? Tears welled in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

Remus swallowed, hating himself for what he was saying. The pained expression on her face was enough to break his heart…if it hadn't already been broken. But Remus knew what he was doing was right…Andromeda had been right; the twins didn't deserve to be raised in this hell. They deserved a better life, with their mother.

"Take the twins and leave," he said suddenly. His tone was harsh, and he heard Tonks give a little whimper as he turned to stare out of the window. Rather that than see the distress on her face.

"You don't mean that," Tonks breathed, suppressing a cry.

"I don't want you in my life anymore, Dora…I've grieved for you."

"It's been a month!" She was shouting now, crossing over to him. Anger and confusion contorted with the anguish on her pale face. "Is that how long it took you to get over me? A month!"

"I would never get over you!" he shouted back at her. Tonks stopped in her tracks.

"Then why do you want me to leave?" she asked quietly. She needed to know. Remus gave a weary sigh. Turning to her slowly, he looked deeply into her shimmering eyes.

"Because I don't love you anymore, Dora. Please…take your children and leave."

Tonks had heard enough. She spun quickly on her heels, and fled the room in a hurry, refusing to let her tears fall until the door closed loudly behind her.

Remus watched her go, feeling the urge to call her back but resisting the temptation. He had broken her heart, as she had broken his, but he knew that one day, when her children had grown up to be safe and happy…she would thank him for it.


	13. Parting ways, rekindling flames

A/N: Consider my mess officially fixed :D

* * *

Tonks fled down the dark corridors of Grimmauld Place, to the one place she guessed that her children would be; Remus' room. She found them there, but they were not alone. 

Andromeda Tonks held a sleeping child in her arms. She turned as she heard her daughter enter.

"What are you doing in here?" Tonks asked shortly. Andromeda looked anxious.

"We don't have much time Dora," she said, ignoring her daughter's question. "Fetch your bag, we're leaving."

Tonks stood defiantly in the doorway.

"I'm not going anywhere Mamma, you can't make me!" _Remus can't make me either,_ she thought but didn't say. Tonks was hardly going to announce to her mother about the couple's previous argument. "I want to hear an explanation Mamma, now!"

Tonks crossed to her, took the baby from her and sat down on Remus' bed expectantly. Her little girl, whose grey eyes were now open from the voices she heard, looked up to her young mother with a hint of familiarity flickering in her eyes. Tonks felt a lump in her throat.

"Hi Tilly, baby," she whispered, bringing the child's soft head up to her lips. Tilly gurgled in response and Tonks held her closer. "Well?" she added harshly to her mother. Andromeda stood in the centre of the room, looking very uncomfortable. She hadn't expected to get caught out.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Nymphadora," she mumbled quietly.

"How about you start with why my friends think I'm dead…I, for one, would like to know. I'm sure they would too."

There was a moment's silence in the room before Andromeda cleared her throat and spoke up.

"I was thinking of you Dora. It's not safe here, for you or the twins. I thought it best if you stayed with me…and the only way I could keep you away from Remus was if–"

"What? If you told him I'd died?" Tonks cried. She was trying to keep her voice down for her children's sake, but her mother was so infuriating. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Mamma, that man…you have no idea what he's been through in his life. What gives you the right to add to that pain? How did he take it Mum? Did you feel any guilt at all? Well…did you? What was your plan; take Jake and Tilly from him, come back to me and tell me he didn't want them? Did you honestly think I'd believe that, Mamma?" Tonks fired a string of bitter questions, hoping to get to the bottom of this very confusing return. Silent tears began to fall down Andromeda's face.

"Forgive me, Dora. I was afraid. I never meant to hurt you… I'm your mother, I love you."

Tonks gave a hollow laugh, that made her feel sick inside to even hear.

"My mother?" she scoffed. "What mother would pretend that her own daughter was dead? It's sick Mum, it's sick!" she spat. "Don't you think it's tempting fate a little? Maybe that's what you wanted, for me to be out of the picture. You could raise the twins properly because I'm obviously gonna screw up! Or maybe it's to make up for the fact that you were such a failure with me."

"Don't me so stupid," Andromeda shouted now, her cheeks pinked with anger. "You have been my life, Nymphadora, from the moment I first held you in my arms. I would never wish anything awful to happen to you."

"Then why, Mamma?" Tonks pleaded desperately for the truth.

"Because you killed my sister!" Andromeda cried, causing a stunned silence to fall. Tonks gave a little gasp. She couldn't speak, even if she had the words to say. What could she say to that? Feeling slightly dizzy, Tonks rose carefully and placed Tilly-Fay in the crib with her brother. Tonks stroked the boy's cheek gently before turning to face her mother as the woman spoke once more.

"You killed Bella, Dora. How could you sink that low? I never, ever thought that things would get this bad when I left for Canada last year. I never should have left; I never should have given you that address in the first place. If I hadn't then…" the elder woman trailed off. Tonks only realised that she, herself, was crying when she instinctively reached up to wipe her face. The young witch sniffed loudly.

"…Then the twins wouldn't have been born," she finished for her mother. Tonks took a deep breath and crossed over to the woman. She took her trembling hands in her own and spoke softly to her.

"I'm so sorry about Bellatrix, Mamma…But you weren't there. What I did, I did to protect Harry; something that Sirius had entrusted me to do. And let's not forget she killed him, Mamma. She killed our Riu in cold blood, because she could."

Andromeda opened her mouth to retaliate but Tonks continued quietly.

"And maybe you shouldn't have given me the location. And you most definitely shouldn't have left me here alone when I needed you…but that can be forgiven. But what you have done here, the pain you have caused my family…I don't think I can ever forgive you Mother, and I don't think I want to." Tonks' voice was still low, but forceful. Andromeda blinked at her daughter. Their hands separated forcefully as Tonks let go.

"I want you to leave, Mother. I want you to leave, and I don't ever want to see you again."

Andromeda began to wail.

"Dora–"

"You're only crying because things didn't go your way," Tonks snapped impatiently. "I don't have anything else to say to you. Please go."

She turned abruptly and crossed to the crib where her sleeping children lay. Her mother hung back a moment in shock, before heading silently to the door.

"Goodbye, Nymphadora," she said quietly. When no response came, Andromeda Tonks left Number 12, Grimmauld Place knowing that, this time, she would not return.

Tonks began to sob silently as she looked down at her babies. Carrying them carefully, one by one to the bed, Tonks curled up around them and cried. The bed smelt of Remus, which only caused further heartache. Had he really meant what he had said? Tonks didn't believe so for a minute. The man had clearly been through a lot. But he had said those words; I don't love you any more. Had he ever loved her?

The bed shook slightly with the force of the witch's cries. She sniffed several times, and blinked back tears to look at her twins. How much they had grown in a month. Tonks hated herself for ever letting her mother take them. She promised silently that she would never leave them again. She would be strong, and raise them to be strong too. Tonks hoped that they never felt pain, nor suffering…or the loneliness of a broken heart.

Sitting up suddenly, Tonks scrambled carefully around the babies and off the bed. Jake threw an arm in the air as she crossed over him. Tonks smiled at him and picked him up.

"Missed Mamma have you?" she said softly. "How's my little man?"

Tonks placed the child in the crook of one arm as she crossed to the dresser in search of some tissues. She opened the top drawer and then paused. Moving slowly, her hand clutched at an envelope. Tonks was drawn to it; not because it was the only item in the drawer, but because of the word scribed on it in fading ink. _Soon._

Jake was beginning to ache her arm so she jogged him in a more comfortable position against her chest, resting the boy's head against her shoulder. Tonks crossed to the bed and sat down gently, hoping not to disturb Tilly. Fumbling with the seal (and trying hard not to drop Jake!), Tonks opened the envelope to find a letter…addressed to her.

_Dear Nymphadora,_

_I shouldn't be writing, and I am unlikely to post this letter anyway, but I had the sudden urge to write to you. I may let you read it, I may not…we'll see._

_I've been thinking about you today, and yesterday and the day before that. Well, I've been thinking about you every day for quite sometime now, it's impossible to pinpoint the exact day when I realised that I thought about you so often…and the exact day I realised I had fallen in love._

_I do love you Nymphadora, and I am a very cowardly man for not saying so sooner. Every day I spend without you here is like one step closer to the darkness you have just saved me from. God, I miss you. I miss everything about you; your cheeky grin, your beautiful, deep eyes, your ever-changing hair…and, of course, your warm heart. You are one of very few people in my life who have accepted me for who I am, and I want to thank you for that. I really should tell you more often how much I appreciate you. There may come a time when I don't get the chance._

_If I were to lose you…well, I'm not going to think on it. Of course I worry, but you'll come back to me, I know you will. I don't want to be lonely again. If you'd die, I would die too. I know it sounds pathetic but it's true._

_You're probably laughing at me now, rolling your eyes at my feeble attempt to tell you how I feel. Just know that I love you…and that will be enough._

_Forever yours,_

_Remus._

Tonks wasn't laughing. In fact her tears had begun to fall once more. She frowned, hating the uncertainty that had suddenly consumed her life. His words had touched her; they were rather simple words for such an articulate man, but they were to the point and they hit her heart with such raw intensity that she wanted to cry from sorrow and joy both at the same time…He had loved her once.

Tonks planted a kiss gently on Jake's head as she began to read the letter again. She was only half way through when a voice from the door caused her to startle.

"You shouldn't be reading that."

Remus. She had been so engrossed in her letter that she hadn't heard him enter. Tonks refused to look at him and carried on reading.

"Dora–"

"Don't call me that," she muttered defiantly. "You will call me Tonks…In fact, you will call me Miss Tonks." She looked up at the door to see his reaction. He blinked at her, though Tonks swore she had seen a faint smile at the corner of his lips.

"Very well, Miss Tonks," Remus said from the door. When he continued to stare at her, Tonks scowled in frustration.

"What are you doing here, _Mr Lupin_?" she asked snidely. He smiled, obviously this time, and it annoyed Tonks. His mood had changed so rapidly, she couldn't keep up. Tonks wiped quickly at her cheeks, hoping he hadn't spotted the remainder of her tears. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

"It's my room…Miss Tonks. And you can call me Remus," he added lightly. Tonks wanted to smile but forced herself not to.

"Oh yeah," she mumbled foolishly.

The witch rose from the bed, placed Jake down carefully and dropped the letter to the floor. She crossed the room dramatically.

"Fine, I'll leave," she said bluntly. What was this game that they were playing? She strode passed him and wrenched the door open. Stopping in its frame, she turned suddenly as his hand went to her arm.

"Dora…" he said simply, and this was enough to reduce her to tears once more. He stepped towards her and pulled her to his chest, giving a shuddered breath. Tonks looked up to him with her shimmering eyes and, before he knew it, his lips were on hers.

Tonks startled under the soft touch, but kissed him back slowly. She hated herself for doing so; the man was clearly messing with her head. As they pulled apart, Tonks was torn between giving the man a sharp, well-deserved slap, or whether to draw him in to another kiss. Merlin, how she'd missed those kisses! Needless to say, she chose the latter.

Remus felt surprised this time. He thought for sure that she was going to pound on him; he had seen a dark flicker of annoyance in her eyes. Realising that this was in fact the wrong thing to do, he broke from her abruptly.

"We can't do this Dora," he said breathlessly. Tonks frowned at him, her eyes following him as he paced further into his room.

"Do what exactly, Remus?" she huffed in response. "I don't know what you want from me. Do you even know?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," he hissed, and turned his back on her.

"What, then?" she prompted as the man fell silent. He turned back to her with certainty.

"I want you to stay," he told her. "Of course I do. I want to raise these beautiful children with you. _Our_ beautiful children," Remus emphasised. "And I want to love you, which is a bloody good job considering that I do. I really do Nymphadora. I love you so much."

Tonks let out a little sob and crossed the room to embrace him once more. He kissed the top of her pink spikes, feeling overcome with emotion at the fact that his Dora had somehow returned home to him, safe and well. But for now he wasn't going to question it, he was just going to hold her.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier, Dora. Please forgive me. I'm terrified that I'll lose you again…or the twins. I can't cope with losing anyone else. Please don't leave me ever again," he mumbled into her hair, breathing her in and hoping that the moment could last forever. A part of him still feared that he would wake up at any moment and be wrenched from this wonderful dream. _I'll keep my eyes closed_, he thought, _and then I'll never wake._

His hands stroke her back softly, studying her curves and familiar form. He could hear her soft, shuddering breaths; they were warm and wispy against his neck. He could also smell her, a scent that hadn't change since her time away. His Dora smelt of lavender and mint and youth. She was fresh and vibrant; everything and old werewolf needed to feel alive again.

But with his eyes close, he could no longer see her beautiful smile, formed from those supple, tender lips. He could not see her sincere eyes, filled with such compassion. They made him want her so much more. And, of course, he could not see her hair…constantly changing, but always so soft. It was funny to Remus that the thing that made Tonks Tonks was the thing that changed the most. She really was unique, and he loved her all the more for it.

Realising that he was missing out on so much by having his eyes closed, Lupin decided to open them slowly. He would live this life, with the woman he held in his arms, and this would be his dream…a very pleasant dream indeed.

* * *

A/N: Well, as this story is dedicated to Hope, it had to have a happy ending :D! The next chapter (which I'm posting now)was going to be the last, but it's really short and really...rubbish. I'm not happy with it at all so I'm writing an epilogue. That'll be posted soon. 

Thanks for reading and thanks for reviewing ;)


	14. A family reunited

A loud bang from below broke the couple apart suddenly. Mrs Black's wails could be heard and Tonks laughed nervously as Remus gave a shy smile. Monster began to bark out in the corridor. Remus tried to shush her.

"Monster, be quiet. You'll wake the twins."

"Monster?" Tonks inquired, raising her eyebrows. Remus gave a laugh, remembering '_Mrs Maroon the Almighty Chocolate Drop',_ and put an arm around Dora lazily.

"Harry and Ron named her. She won't answer to anything else now. You'll have to trust me when I say that Monster was one of the more preferable suggestions."

"I believe you," Tonks said with a grin. "We'd better go see what's wrong with the old hag," she suggested and Remus nodded.

The wizard opened his bedroom as Monster shot past quickly, yapping as she went. As the pair reached the stairs Tonks heard a familiar voice.

"Is that…Harry?" she inquired and Remus' eyes widened suddenly. The boy's voice echoed up into the house.

"Remus? REMUS!"

Remus took Tonks' hand and led her down the stairs.

"I'm here, Harry."

The boy crossed the entrance hall, leaving Dumbledore's side (who was having polite words with Mrs Black.) Hermione followed Harry hesitantly, looking rather dazed.

"Remus, Mrs Weasley came to see Dumbledore and said…" the boy began breathlessly but came to a halt when seeing Tonks peep out from behind the tall man.

"Hi Harry," she smiled down at him. Harry took an unintentional step back out of shock and stumbled on Hermione's foot.

"So…so it's true then?" he asked desperately. Tonks and Remus nodded in unison. Harry's hands covered his mouth in shock.

"Harry!" Remus warned suddenly, as Hermione began to wobble behind him. The boy spun around and grabbed his friend firmly by the elbows.

"Deep breaths 'Mione ok?" he whispered. The pale girl nodded, tears streaming down her face. Tonks and Remus joined their former students in the hallway. Dumbledore smiled at the four of them.

"Well, I see Mrs Weasley was right…as were Mr Potter and myself," he added lightly to Remus, throwing the younger man a casual wink. Remus simply nodded. "It's very good to see you again Miss Tonks. We'll catch up at the next Order meeting," he told the young witch. Tonks grinned.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," she beamed.

"Goodnight." Dumbledore bowed slightly, and Disapperated with a dull pop.

A stunned silence fell between the four of them. Breaking out of his stupor, Harry rushed over to Tonks and grabbed her into an embrace.

"I haven't a clue what's going on, but I'm _so_ glad you're here," Harry told his guardian, his voice cracking in emotion. Tonks nodded onto his shoulder, once again feeling guilty for causing her friends so much pain. The pair held each other for a moment longer before Tonks gave a cough.

"Harry, you're hurting me."

"Oh, sorry," the boy said, jumping away and grinning sheepishly. Tonks beamed at him. Next she turned to Hermione.

"Well Minnie, do I get a hug?"

Tonks was almost bowled over by the force of the impact, as Hermione threw herself at her. The girl wept joyously onto the woman's shoulder, wailing unintelligibly. Tonks rubbed the girl's back soothingly, giving a slightly scared glance over to Remus.

"Don't you ever leave us again!" Hermione howled, slapping Tonks hard on the shoulder. Tonks winced slightly.

"Ok, ok I promise," she replied quickly.

Hermione gave a watery smile. The girl still looked very shaken and Remus decided it was best if they went into the kitchen. He, however, went to fetch the twins in the carrycot.

He arrived moments later to find Harry had made some tea. Both teenagers were holding on to one of Tonks' hands tightly.

"So you're mother lied to us?" Harry was saying. Tonks nodded slightly, still very upset about the whole ordeal.

"I'm afraid so," Tonks told them, dropping their hands and lifting Jake from his nest. Remus took his daughter.

"How awful," Hermione said. "What was she thinking? I assume she had her reasons."

Tonks nodded again, avoiding Hermione's gaze by looking down at her son.

"Yeah…but I don't really want to talk about it now. I'm so glad to be back here with you guys where I belong. How have you coped without me?" she enquired.

"Terribly," all three of her companions groaned in chorus. Tonks tinkled a laugh.

"Well it's nice to know I've been missed."

"More than missed," Remus mumbled quietly. She smiled to him, feeling her cheeks warm.

"I've more than missed you too," she replied softly. Harry broke their locked gaze.

"Aw isn't that sweet. Group hug!" he cried. Tonks and Remus groaned as Harry threw his arms around the pair, minding the babies as he did so. Hermione joined in, giggling. The twins lay contently in the middle of the pack. Even Monster sat nearby, swishing her tail madly, her wide mouth open in a grin-like state and her moist pink tongue lolling happily.

"Where's Beaky?" Harry said suddenly. "Hey Buckbeak, you're missing this!" he called towards the stairs in jest. The group laughed but were silently relieved when the Hippogriff ignored Harry's hollering.

Tonks laughed the loudest, thankful to be back with her family, where she truly belonged. The war was still to come, but this unit was strong. There was danger and turmoil ahead, but Tonks was with the ones she loved and it would only make her stronger. She was with her family, and she was home.

* * *

A/N: And now follows the epilogue. It's just a lil idea that came to me. Plus, at **Alice L Longbottom's** request, it will feature most, if not all of the Weasley's (Except Percy, bah Percy!)

Thanks again for reading. This story's nearly over...


	15. Epilogue

A/N: Here it is, the epilogue. Rather long, and very fluffy...let me know what you think :)

As for Story 3 (thanks for reminding me **Hope,** I'd forgotten about that, lol.) I'm going to work on the plan a bit more so I don't mess up with the storyline. Plus, with HBP out in less than 12 hours (YAY) and a new Star Wars book out in 10 days, I'm gonna be a bit tied up. I will probably start posting at the start of August. Watch this space.

For now I'll say goodbye, thanks for reading (and especially reviewing!) and I hope you all enjoy HBP.

Kitty

* * *

Epilogue – (or Mr Moony and the Undetectable Mistletoe Situation: Nargles and All.) 

It had been 26 days since she had returned to him; the most wonderful days in Remus Lupin's life. And now he was sharing Christmas Day with a family. Remus never thought he'd see the day. He had two amazing and fast-growing children, the woman he loved by his side, two wild teenagers (who still insisted they were in his care)…and a houseful of redheads. What more could an old werewolf want.

"Remus, call you're dog off the table this instant!" Mrs Weasley's shrill voice broke the man from his reverie.

"Sorry Molly, she doesn't do it often. She's just a huge fan of your cooking…and aren't we all," he added.

"Smooth. Nice recovery," Ron mumbled under his breath to his old professor as he assisted the man in pushing the boisterous dog's front paws off the long wooden table.

"Suck up," Tonks coughed as she passed. Remus grinned at her and hooked an arm around the woman's waist, causing her to plop into his lap. Ron crinkled his nose and turned to talk to his twin brothers instead.

Harry entered dramatically, with a verse of God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs. Tonks had sung it the previous year, and Sirius before her. It was the Order family tradition.

"Is that the only Wizarding carol you know?" Hermione asked dryly, having heard it for the fifth time that day. Harry shrugged with a grin and plonked himself next to her.

"Well…yeah. But I have no doubt that it's the best…and I've just fed Beaky. It was meant to me Hermione, don't question it."

Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes at her friend's jovial behaviour.

Fred and George leapt up suddenly, causing the table to jolt. All eyes fell on them as they crossed to the dresser. When they returned, identical grins spread across their identical faces.

"Crackers!" they announced together. The room was stunned to silence.

"We know you are," Ginny spoke up wryly.

"No, these are Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes own: Crafty Christmas Crackers." Fred told her. "Sure to enlighten any Christmas Dinner." The twins held up the three festive items for all to see. Sure enough, a picture of Fred and/or George could be seen grinning impishly in a diamond pattern on the paper. Ginny rolled her eyes. Mr Weasley looked highly intrigued. As for the rest of the crowd… dubious summed them up.

"These are only prototypes," George explained. "So we can't pull them all. We're hoping to have them on the shelves in the shop come next Christmas…So, who's brave enough to give it ago?"

Silence fell. Harry raised his hand timidly, but Hermione pulled it down quickly. George and Fred looked crestfallen.

"Aw, no one?"

"Oh go on then, I will," Tonks resigned, rising from Remus' knee. The boys beamed at her.

"Anyone else?" Fred enquired.

"Why don't you two test them?" Ron said shortly. The twins looked at each other and then back at their little brother.

"Because, dearest Ronald, we are too beautiful to risk being …scorched or such like."

Ron looked highly unconvinced, and Tonks dropped her mouth indignantly.

"You really are a stunner Fred."

"Thank you, George. You too."

Their family chuckled at their daft behaviour. Arthur rose from his place and shook his head slightly.

"Come on then lads, let's do this."

Tonks offered the other end of the cracker to Arthur, who took a firm grip.

"Should I fear for my life?" Tonks asked lightly.

"Nah…fear for your eyebrows at the most," George assured her. Tonks looked confident, knowing that she could always morph them back. Arthur, on the other hand, swallowed hard.

"Perhaps we should clear a space," Hermione suggested, and they all moved cautiously to the other end of the kitchen.

Tonks and Mr Weasley faced each other. They nodded in unison and began to pull. The spectators immediately covered their ears and winced, expecting the worst. However, all that emitted from the cracker was a tiny squeak (that resembled a very small balloon being deflated) and a pathetic puff of grey smoke. Tonks and Arthur blinked at the halved cracker, looked to each other and then burst into a fit of laughter.

"That's it?" Tonks shrieked. "I risked my life, my eyebrows for _that_?" she howled.

Fred and George went a deep shade of red.

"Back to the drawing board, I think," Fred said, defeated.

Tonks tipped her end of the cracker and a sweet fell into her hand.

"Ooh, a Ton-Tongue Toffee," Harry exclaimed and snatched it from her. Tonks pouted. "Let's send it anonymously to Dudley," he said to Ron who nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, that oaf will never learn," the red-haired boy laughed heartily.

"You'll do no such thing," Mrs Weasley reprimanded them. Harry waited until she was out of hearing range before whispering.

"Later."

"I heard that Harry Potter!" Molly called over her shoulder. Ron laughed as his best friend flushed.

Tonks crossed over to the stove to help Mrs Weasley. The elder woman was reluctant at first, but then gave Tonks the task of setting the cutlery on the table (after all, metal was less likely to break!)

Tonks skipped around the table with the forks, as Ginny followed with the knives, straightening Tonks' precariously placed cutlery as she went. As the pink haired witch squeezed past Lupin's chair, she felt his eyes on her.

"Professor Lupin, it's rude to stare," she sang, though her eyes remained on her task. Remus looked away quickly and Tonks gave a laugh. The man was so damn cute sometimes.

"Ha, Remus you're blushing," Harry quipped up. Remus shot him a glare and then grinned.

"Sweetheart, will you check on the twins for me?" Tonks asked as she grabbed a pile of spoons. Fred and George looked up.

"We're behaving!" they whined together indignantly. Remus gave a laugh.

"Not you two…though I'm glad to hear it," he added as he rose from his seat. Harry got up too, insisting on helping. Remus kissed Tonks gently on the cheek as he passed. Harry pursed his lips expectantly. Tonks rolled her eyes and kissed the boy on the forehead. Harry grinned and sprinted off after Lupin.

Tonks gave a content sigh as she watched them go. This was going to be the best Christmas ever, she could tell. Realising that Ginny had caught up with her around the table, Tonks began to shuffle around again. She noticed that Ginny was flipping the spoons over as she placed the goblets onto the table.

"Ginny-bean, if I was doing it wrong then you should have said," the woman laughed.

"But it's much more fun this way," Ginny insisted, beaming up at her friend. Tonks squeezed her arm affectionately, and then scrunched her face up to let long red hair fall to her shoulders. Ginny's grin widened.

"Merry Christmas everybody," came a call from the top of the stairs. Mrs Weasley gave a cry of delight as her two oldest sons descended the stairs to join their family.

"We weren't expecting you," she said, sounding thoroughly pleased to see them. She pulled them both into an embrace, having to stand on her tiptoes to do so as they were both so tall.

"Hope there's enough food," Bill said, rubbing his hands together much like his father would do. He ruffled Tonks' hair as he passed. "Nice to see you T."

Tonks was left standing with Charlie. The man ran a hand over the back of his neck and rocked slightly on his heels.

"Hi Charlie," she ventured. "How are you?"

"Good, thanks. You?"

"Yeah not bad," she replied politely.

"Well you look great," he mumbled and Tonks smiled slightly.

"Thanks."

Harry entered with Jake in his arms, breaking the uncomfortable moment.

"Look who is awake everyone," he called and the group began to coo in delight. Ginny left the table unfinished and met Harry at the bottom of the stair to take the baby boy from him.

"You're so adorable," she pouted sweetly.

"Why thank you," Harry said proudly and Ginny pushed him gently.

Lupin arrived with Tilly-Fay. He spotted Tonks talking to Charlie, and immediately chided himself for the sudden surge of jealousy that coursed through him. She was his Dora, he reminded himself. She loved him, and only him…he hoped.

"Someone looks grumpy," Tonks said as she took the squirming Tilly from Remus.

"I'm fine actually," he muttered, before giving Charlie a strained smile and crossing the room to talk to Hermione.

"I meant Tilly," she called after him. _Men,_ Tonks thought. _Can't live with them…can't live with them!_

"Well she's a stunner," Charlie observed. Tilly folded her little fingers around the man's own finger. He smiled.

"Gonna be a heartbreaker this one, I can tell." Charlie gave a smile. "Just like her mother," he added quietly. Tonks' smile faded to one of pity.

"Charlie–"

"Hey, I'm kidding! I'm really happy for you. They're both so beautiful. And Remus makes you happy?" he asked. Tonks nodded.

"Then I'm happy. Don't feel sorry for me Dora. Enjoy what you have. He's a very lucky wizard, you know that?"

"I know," Tonks smiled, seeing the sincerity in her former lover's eyes. "Thank you Charlie." She kissed him on the cheek.

"You're very welcome," he replied.

Tilly began to squirm again in her mother's arms, and then began to wail. All eyes turned to her and Tonks winced.

"Shh, baby. Come on now, you know how Uncle Harry like to be the centre of everyone's attention," she soothed.

"Hey!" Harry exclaimed from across the room, though he laughed with everyone else.

Lupin crossed to his crying child.

"You got her?"

"Yeah, give her a minute," Tonks replied, bobbing the little girl slightly. The child eventually quietened down, though was still whimpering. Tonks looked up to Charlie.

"You want to hold her?" she asked and Charlie looked stunned.

"Um, no that's fine I–"

"Go on," Tonks insisted, holding out the child. Charlie hesitated, and looked to Lupin who gave a little nod.

"Go ahead."

Charlie took the baby carefully. Tonks grinned at the worried look on his face. She wrapped an arm around Lupin's waist and rested her head against his shoulder.

"You're a natural Chas," she told the man. Charlie smiled down at the little girl. "She seems to have warmed to you."

"Of course she has," Charlie whispered as Tilly's eyelids began to fall heavy. "Ok, you can take her now," he said quickly, worried that she'd wake at any second and start bawling again. Remus took her from the man.

"Come on little miss, let's go see Nana Molly."

* * *

The family soon settled down to Christmas dinner. Everyone was chatting merrily, it was so easy to forget that a war was going on. For now, they would just enjoy each other's company. 

"Pass 'tates," Ron garbled to Hermione with a mouthful of food. She blinked at him in revulsion.

"I'm sorry Ronald, I didn't quite catch that."

Ron swallowed. "Pass the potatoes," he said slowly, emphasising each word. "Please," he added feverishly as Hermione sent him a glare.

The group knew that it was only a matter of time before someone mentioned one of the forbidden subjects: Percy, Voldemort or Andromeda.

"So…have you heard from your Mum, Tonks?" Bill asked mildly. The kitchen fell quiet, and the clinking of cutlery against china stopped instantly. "I was just curious, that's all," Bill muttered as he took another bite of his turkey.

"I have actually. She sent me something…I sent it back. I didn't even open it. I can't be doing with her."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"That answer your question?" Ron asked loudly, embarrassed by his eldest brother's lack of subtlety. Bill nodded but said nothing. The kitchen remained hushed for a moment longer, until the Weasley twins bubbled up an animated conversation. Tonks was relieved by it, not wanting to think on her mother any longer.

When the meal was over, Molly, Ginny and Hermione cleared up. Tonks was told that she must feed the twins rather than help. She resigned, knowing that Mrs Weasley was right.

Tonks and Harry chatted as they fed the twins from bottles together. Harry had become an expert at baby feeding, though burping was still something he avoided. Tonks noticed that Ron, Fred and George were staring at her intently.

"What? Oh come on guys, you honestly think I'm gonna get my boobs out in front of all of you?"

Harry's eyebrows shot up. The three Weasley lads shrugged, not seeing a problem with it.

"Yeah, and let's not forget I don't have…boobs," Harry pointed out. Ron snickered at him.

Hermione grabbed a plate from in front of Ron.

"Oh honestly boys," she sighed, turning away from her best friends in disgust.

* * *

Once the kitchen was cleared, and the babies were settled back down upstairs, the group dispersed. Ginny and Hermione had disappeared from the room, as had Fred and George. Charlie and Bill had gone back to the Burrow with their father. Ron and Harry were playing an intent game of Wizard's Chess, and Molly had dozed off in the chair by the stove. 

Tonks was talking to Remus, who had chosen to stare at her in a besotted daze rather than focus on what she was saying. She gave a huff and his glazed eyes focussed once more.

"What?"

"You're not listening to a word I'm saying."

"I am…it's very fascinating."

"What is?" Tonks asked sceptically, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Um…whatever it was you were talking about."

Tonks gave a growl. "Remus!"

"I'm sorry, I was thinking."

"About what?"

He couldn't exactly blurt out; You! Well, why not? It's best to be honest.

"I was thinking how beautiful you looked," he said ignoring the retching sounds Harry and Ron were making behind him. Tonks' face softened.

"Aw, that's so sweet." She kissed his cheek and carried on talking.

Ok, I really must listen this time! God, her lips are just so perfect. Carry on talking, lips. I'll just sit here and watch.

"Remus!" she growled again.

"What I'm watching…I mean listening!" he corrected hurriedly.

"Fine you know what, as beautiful as I am, I'm fed up of being gawped at. You can talk and _I'll_ pretend to listen, ok?" She slumped back in her seat and waved a hand at him lazily. "You may proceed."

Remus was staring out of shock this time. He pulled himself together and cleared his throat.

"Beware the Nargles," he said simply. Harry and Ron howled with laugher. Tonks frowned. Ha, that had caught her attention.

"What are Nargles?"

What were Nargles, come to think of it? Harry had told him that Luna said they lived in…mistletoe! Perfect!

"Nasty little blighters that live in mistletoe," he told her. Tonks scoffed.

"I'll be careful," she said dryly. Remus nodded.

"You should. In fact you should probably change seats, they might fall on you."

Tonks instinctively looked up, displaying her long, smooth neck. It took Remus all his self-control not to kiss it there and then. He licked his lips in temptation.

"Remus, there's nothing there," she laughed, looking back to him. Lupin nodded insistently, his face set in mock-seriousness.

"I assure you there is. Look closer Dora."

"I can't see–"

"You're not looking hard enough."

Tonks was squinting to the ceiling now, knowing full well he was having her on.

"I can see them from my seat," he told her. "You might have to lean a bit closer…a little further…a bit more."

Tonks grinned as her lips fell on his. Harry and Ron gave groans of protest but the couple chose to ignore them.

"Can you see them yet?" Lupin whispered, as they broke apart. Tonks shook her head slightly. "Well it doesn't matter anymore, I got what I wanted." He rose with a cheeky grin and crossed to the kettle. Tonks let out another sigh.

At that moment, Ginny came pelting down the stairs, her face pink and wet.

"It's snowing," she squealed. Ron turned to her.

"Wha–" he began but Ginny silenced his enquiry with a hand full of snow.

"Argh!" Ron let out a cry and knocked the chess set flying. Molly woke instantly.

"Ginevra Weasley, you are not to bring that in the house!" she cried, but Ginny wasn't listening, she was attempting to lose her brother as he bolted up the stairs after her. Tonks and Remus laughed.

"Can I go play too?" Harry asked them.

"Of course you can," Remus told him and the boy ran off after his best friend.

"Can I go play? Can I, can I?" Tonks asked Remus playfully.

"Alright, but don't make yourself ill. Wrap up warm."

Tonks pouted. "You're coming out too, right?"

Remus shook his head. Tonks stuck out her bottom lip and left to find her winter coat.

She came back half an hour later, her fingers frozen to the bone but a grin plastered on her face. She laid one bent arm across Remus' back as he continued to chat to Molly. Tonks rested her chin on his shoulder so they were cheek to cheek.

"You're cold!" Remus exclaimed. Tonks gave a giggle.

"Snow's cold," she said simply and grabbed at his collar, shoving a fist full of snow down his back. He shot up in an instant.

"Right, you've asked for it," he growled as she let off a shriek and scarpered out the room. Remus ran after her and outside in his cold.

"Remus, you have no shoes on," Tonks protested, really thinking of her own safety. The man did not back down. He gained on her easily and pulled her to the snow-covered floor. The teenagers had stopped their snowball fight to watch their former professor's wrestle in the snow. Tonks was screaming, though it was staggered with giggles. Remus pinned her down and began to bury her, putting the ice-cold matter onto the bare belly that peeked from her coat.

"REMUS NO!" Tonks laughed. She managed to push herself up from the ground and scoop a load of snow into her arms. She aimed for his face but the wind blew it back onto herself. The witch let out a wail of distress as Remus chuckled.

Molly stood watching at the top of the stone steps. She ducked slightly as a snowball flew in her direction and hit the house with a thud.

"Sorry Mum!" one of her own called and she smiled fondly, deciding that maybe it was best if she went in and made a large batch of hot chocolate.

Tonks was now chasing Remus around the courtyard. The man was slipping without shoes. She gave a jump and landed on his back. The pair collapsed into a heap, laughing.

"Ok, ok, I give in, I'm sorry," the man breathed. Tonks nuzzled her cold nose against him. The coatless and shoeless man began to shiver. Snowflakes were landing in his greying hair and eyelashes, causing him to blink.

"I love you," Tonks whispered softly.

"I love you too," he replied. She kissed him, and her lips were warm against his. Remus tingled all over, but it wasn't from the cold.

"Merry Christmas, Professor Lupin," she purred and he grinned. Suddenly, Harry's bellow caused them to break from their moment

"3…2…1…GO!"

An array of snowballs flew through the air and landed with a thump on the pair. They let out cries of annoyance and scrambled up.

* * *

The family played outside in the cold until in became dark and Molly called them in, wrapping them in warm fluffy towels and serving mugs of steaming hot chocolate. 

The gang made their way slowly to bed. Tonks snuggled up to Remus, still insisting that she was cold. She felt fine to him, though he was hardly going to complain. Beside him lay the woman he loved, and she loved him too. She was bold and bright, and awful to have on your team in a snowball fight, but he loved her so much for it. Remus held her close and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Tonks gave a sleepy smile.

"Sleep well sweetheart," he whispered.

"Mind the Nargles don't bite," Tonks replied. Remus chuckled and reached over to extinguish the light.

Yes, this had been the best Christmas of his life…and he was hoping for many more to come.


End file.
